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The Saddest Blue

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I carry softer hearts tender and throwing love in a hail Mary
Deliver payloads of affection to an adversary 
My heart been feeling heavy not from all the pain I carry 
But for me reaching for somebody that could never lift me 
I'm just exhausted and it's never ending 
I swear I walk around this earth with this hopeless useless romanticism
And sweat profusely I'm running against the wind I'm hitting 
The hottest waves of emotions constantly floating in me 
I'm not the type of dude to fill with envy 
But feeling jealous to the fact that you chilling and not a thing you missing 
While me I'm stuck in the polaroid of this past I'm living 
Forever tired ready for current to future memories 

And I been upset 
Balance been stretched to a set distance 
Cooperating in boundaries swiftly but always missing I
Navigate my mission through trenches and not to mention 
I'm dodging these bullets piercing my armor the root to feelings 
I'm nauseous and far from winning my stomach painting an image 
Of venom and not butterfly's beauty has left my system 
It's ugly and I'll admit it 
But situations been killing my tolerance every minute 
I'm through with it man I'm finished 
I swear to you dawg I'm ending these conversations 
That lead me to question me why I'm living 
This to my people who know I been standing at such a distance 
I care for you and was shielding 
From shadows of darkness kissing 
The people the ones I'm keeping connected inside the system
Promiscuous are these demons 
But easy for you to miss them nigga
For you to miss them nigga

I know I miss them too
My eyes just graze the surface and I miss them too
I know I miss them too 
Been walking blind so long with no peripheral

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