Confessions

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This is my confession
I'm a broken man full of depression
God save my soul and restore my life
So I can be a better man for my wife

This is my confession
I'm a broken man full of anxiety
Tell me what is true I have all these lies in me
Reveal what is true I pray you enlighten me

Somebody once told me never look to the old me
Don't understand that? I highly doubt that you know me
I highly doubt that you see everything that is holding
Me back from the fact that what the somebody told me
I feel like I'll never change I feel like I'll never gauge
I feel like this book of mine will never turn the page
I feel like "hey look i'm trying" only to feed the pain
I feel like all you ever saw was the lies in your brain
Why is everything that I say
Always gets spat back in my face
Why does my craft only reveal the shame
Tear up another draft only to write the same
Go ahead set my heart up on a mat
And you'll see exactly what I'm trinna say
I pray to God that he gives me a bigger heart for you every single time I close my eyes and pray!

I feel lie I just burn in the fire of good intentions
Maybe you and I might need an intervention
Fears trinna play with me I just wanna bench him
Maybe my intentions in the end don't mean squat
Its these type of thoughts I bring to the cross
"I was lost but now I'm found?" Nope I'm still lost
Walk away with tears but no happy thoughts
Glory on high to the God above that I was bought
I know he here's me but does he listen to me
Sometimes I stay up asking what is he doing?
So many questions we have a tough time proving
God heal this heart of mine and please renew me
These are my confessions I could go deeper 
but I don't wanna bring people close to me into the picture
This is about me myself and I not trinna be a wealthy guy 
I just praying God please help me tonight
No time for a break from the hype of life
No time to collect and reflect just type
Can barely find the break to stop in testify
Scared of the thought that's it's best to lie
Sitting waiting for the day that my soul will die
Can never get a break even though I'm told to try
Frightened by the thought that'll get old in time
Spending 6k on a record not a soul will buy
Which is scary cause I wanna be married by 22
And if I cant provide for a family what I to do
What kinna man am I that a woman would choose
I have a plan but I'm scared that'll fail too
Or that it'll take longer till when I can marry
And that'll stop her dad from giving me the blessing
These thoughts are why I have depression
I wanna raise a family but still preach a message!

This is my confession
I'm a broken man full of depression
God save my soul and restore my life
So I can be a better man for my wife

This is my confession
I'm a broken man full of anxiety
Tell me what is true when I have all these lies in me
God please reveal what is true I pray you enlighten me

Am I wrong to feel like I've failed?
Cause I do in a lot of ways
Am I wrong to feel like a failure?
Cause I do every single day
Only time I pray is when i'm hurt
God I know that is not my worth
But I think you get what I'm trinna say
I wanna be a man with a wife and kids

I said I was taken tell me why do you follow me
I hate the playing I wanna be who I oughta be
I won't conform to how people once thought of me
If I wanna raise I family I need to be who I gotta be
Its the mentality I have whatever the problem be
It's been over a year since I looked at pornography
The God in is who I gotta be I know that I probably
Get too cocky thinking nobody could never ever stop me

I believe this is my calling see I will give this all of me
They think its appalling people judge who we are called to be
My mind is where demons roam
The battlefield for a peaceful zone
That's why I'm never at ease at home
Satan's always trying seize the throne
I cant let um I know my brain is sacred
I Cant let um Inside this brain of mine
I will never bow the knee or say its fine
Look down to me and I'll say its fine
That balcony I promise you is way behind
Where I am headed I gotta plan in play
I will not let anything stand in the way
Talking about it was what I planned today
I feel like every time I talk about it I walk around it and in my opinion that is pretty sad thing to say
In between the bars I just had an argument
To be honest it's hard to tell who started it
Or how much from the start I had a part in it
Frustrated and concerned from the start with me
What this person wants me to be is hard to be
But Ill try to dig down to the heart to become it
Without that in this song the song means nothing
Confessions of a rapper trinna climb the summit
Afraid he's gonna fail all the people who love him
Afraid he's gonna descend and then plummet
As he rises higher and higher into the public
Then leaves his wife and kids as the ones punished
For something from the start they never wanted
These are my confessions of emotions and thoughts
Weighing from the start is music is really worth the cost
God I pray you help me to be what I think I am not

This is my confession
I'm a broken man full of depression
God save my soul and restore my life
So I can be a better man for my wife

This is my confession
I'm a broken man full of anxiety
Tell me what is true when I have all these lies in me
God please reveal what is true I pray you enlighten me

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