Landscape Love

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Rumpy Tumpkin & the Boys

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It happened at the hardware store
Lookin' for a blue storm door
Got a call from the misses
And she said we're through

I shed tears in housewares
Broke down in paints
It was in that dark moment
I caught her bright eyed gaze

She had a thick green coat on
And she was standing with one of the clerks
She wore fine leathers
But boy, she was built for farm work

Never thought that a guy like me
Would end up with a girl like this
So I got on top of her and
I took hold of her stick shift

Yeah, I'm in love with a tractor
She's got four-wheel drive
And unlike most women
She don't bitch or whine

Yeah, she's a John Deere tractor
And she fits like a glove
I don't care what most folks say
Yeah, this is my landscape love

We've been together for about three weeks
And I found what my heart seeks
Mowed the lawn six times now
With a four-inch chub all the while

We gonna meet my parents
And they didn't say much
She's been so great to me
It feels like I got a high school crush

So I rode up to the drive-in
To get tickets for my lady and I
They said tractors aren't people
I guess they don't welcome her kind

So we went back to my place
For a hot night of sin
Slipped my dick in her tailpipe
But then my wife and kids walked in 

They saw me fuckin' my tractor
My kids puked on sight
She said, "you need to seek help now"
And I said, "I'm just fine"

She said she's taking the kids now
And she's had enough
She said she'll see me in court when I'm done
Fuckin' my landscape love

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