Ten Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins
Tim Minchin
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So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a ride on a UFO And when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation You're gonna be the first to know So if God was there from the very beginning He invented men and women Then He also invented wanking Then He said wanking was sinning So now if I'm feeling randy I'm not allowed a hand shandy But having sex with my family That is just fucking great It's all there in Ezekiel 8 Just before he opens up His big pearly gates And says that it's a sin To take it up the date Even if it's great Even with your cowboy mate So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at the greener grass And when the Lord comes down with His shiny rod of judgement He's gonna kick my heathen ass So if you Cover the bodies of your women Everybody is grinning Because black is so slimming Though it's not great for swimming But it gives you an erection With the increased sexual tension What with the UV protection That is second to none You'll find it all in the Koran Just next to the bit that justifies guns And says that it's a sin To take it up the bum Even if it's fun Even with permission from your mum So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at eternity And when the Lord comes down and I haven't done my penance He's gonna disembowel me You say that If I Stumbled on a watch I'd assume it had a watchmaker That a muffin presupposes a baker So we must agree sooner or later This proves there's a creator So if I put your foot in a stinker You'd assume the existence of a sphincter Thus you don't need to be a great thinker To conclude that God's a bum Which negates the words of Genesis 1 Which make him out to be so much fun Until Adam succumbed To temptation And then his only son Got nailed to a gum Or the Middle East equivalent Which suggest that God's omniscience Is nullified by his ambivalence Unless it turns out that he's impotent And if God can't get a boner I guess that explains the plethora Of huge erections in His honour Cos we all know a steeple is just a subconscious Compensatory manifestation of a huge, stiff penis And still He tell us that it's heinous To stick a penis up your anus Even if you're famous Even if you're good at tennis So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a ride on a UFO And when the Lord comes down with His big, stiff, slimy rod of judgement I'm gonna be the first to go He's gonna send me down below He's gonna whip me like a ho D'you really think so? I'm gonna be the first to go
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Written by: Tim Minchin
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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"Ten Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/4122635/Tim+Minchin/Ten+Foot+Cock+And+A+Few+Hundred+Virgins>.
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