Cream Cheese Pimp

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Rimmed fanny pack, strapped across my back
Bulging like my sack, with mayo' and ketchup packs
Prepared to dash and dine at any situation
I don't pack any change, just an array concession napkins
McDonald's is the easiest prey of choice
Sit in the side, leave my piss to be cleaned by Joyce
As soon as they ask to pay, I look oblivious and say
"Why I hope you folks have a mighty fine day"
And then I walk out, pretend like they don't even notice
What you gonna do with such confidence and focus
To be a fool, asshat, complete disgrace
Sometime's it's easier to put on a better face
Then chase down the lunatic for some loose change
Who knows what'll happen if you try to share the stage
With the man who'll go up and piss on your carpet
Then have the arrogance to go for another hit
Combination speedball, alcohol, cocaine
Bringing psychedelics right to my brain
That makes me go insane, opt out of the game
But it don't matter, I've always had a disdain

I'm an ancient entity with ginormous capabilities
Blatant and brilliant, I'm upfront constantly 
Dormant till I'm flippant, don't judge my abilities
Until you come face to face with this brute's agility
There's no placeholder for this breadwinner
I'm a producer, provider, and complete devourer
How do you think you're gonna stand on two feet
When I'm the real fucking man

I'm the cream cheese pimp, I'm gonna walk with a limp
If I don't got my sweet creamy drink I sip
A mixture of dairy, meat, and the finest lean
Juiced up to maximize the living dream
Slink and slurp my way to the advantage
This old dog get's better with mileage
I'm always ready to assemble a voyage
Never will I be the one to discourage
A culinary adventure of the finest decadent
Sweet savory delights will be my entrapment
Indiscriminate of sausage or porridge
Mix and match all you gotta do is have courage
Gonna pillage the fridge like a Christian village
Like the vikings, decimate an ungodly percentage
Savage and ravage I'm ready to do damage
Ransacking the buffet to my ultimate advantage
Behind me in line? You're getting shafted son
No chances on the desert, the digestion has begun
Acknowledge what you pretend to be capable
But now watch a real man completely derail

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