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Durran

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Remember waking up to days always feeling empty
I had a lot I wanted to say that shit was heavy
Only had a few friends I never trusted any
I was all to myself cuz they be full of envy
Depression on my mind suicidal thoughts
I really wanted to die but I really fought
I took it day by day and I was so exhausted
One night I popped so many pills tryna to off it

And I still can't believe I woke up alive
A new persona, really though that I died
I sat vomiting, I was so happy that I cried
That was the day I saw the future with my eyes
A new school year Imma put my mind to it
Not on some nerd shit, just saying I ain't blind to it
Blind to the people tryna f*ck with a real nigga
The people tryna shoot me then say that I pulled the trigger
Nah that ain't how this is finna go down
I know now, just how everything goes now
I know just how these niggas gon fold now
But I know so well that I'd never slow down
As days passed I never give up on myself
There's some good coming I would just say to myself
And I waited for it played with the cards i was dealt
Walked in a new class feeling like something else
It was different it felt like I belonged there
Just chilling with the homies none' wrong there
But some else it was like something that I want there
Then I saw her like I was instantly drawn there
I had already given up on what I seen
I had so many rejections like fourteen
In the back of my mind she the girl of my dreams
But I never said a word cause she so out of my league
My homie Shawn he stuck wit me he the OG
He had my back since I caused a scene that wasn't me
Like Billie Jean he knew my past and he came clean
He told me that he knew the chick that I wanna see
I said "I don't know man, don't wanna f*ck up my vibe"
You don't got nothing to lose so why don't you just try
I said you right, I slid into the DMs on that night
Stayed up talking for a while getting real tight

Then I felt it for the first time
What they all say on the grapevine
Tension rising all up in my c Klein's
I was levitating when I wasn't high
I wanna get to know you better, when I met her
Any pain I would en devour, I wouldn't let her
I know you clever, It would be my pleasure
I just wanted to impress her, until forever

And all it took was a few b ball games
And few more nights staying up late
And you know how I felt cause it felt great
At Micky D's I tried to ask her out on a date
I had my expectations down to a no
But with a smile on her face reality was shown
She put her arms around me then I just froze
Is that a yes? I was praying cause only god knows
She just nodded with a laugh and she said yes
Then we went for the hug again I felt so blessed
Then she got her face close and I couldn't take a guess
Like chess we was playing till she lent in for the kiss
First date nothing big we went to Starbucks
I was starstruck by the things that she told me
We went for so long till I knew she not a harlot
A good startup her parents didn't know me

Then I had everything that I ever wanted girl
I had somebody so that I could be honest girl
Hoping you love me for me when I'm really on it girl
You said you love me first and we was bonding girl

Two months in and we was feeling alive
We could both agree it was the time of our lives
Then you left my for some friends said it'd only be a night
You got me so fucked up when you took more time
I never felt so rejected ever in my life
She would use like she need me then she put me aside
Then she came running back when I wanna divide
She said that god will help us and then she start crying
I told her that I just don't wanna get hurt again
My nigga Shawn talked to her like a good friend
She promised she would fix shit she did not pretend
She stuck with me for so long like we co-depended
You said you never needed nobody but me girl
We spent so much time so I believed girl
You can't "un-love" there's no delete girl
Then the day came where you said you wanna leave girl
Your best friend say you changed since you been with me
How's that my fault I'm not the enemy
But y'all his this shit all rigged like the industry
When you turned your back on me you knew it was the end of me

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