How Long

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Everytime I’m battle-tested, learn no lesson
Everyday I wake up and I stare at my reflection
And the moment I decide to start my day
Is the same one that doubt will say
Will I stand up for myself again?
Will I write another word with this pen or be stuck in this place without a friend?
They don’t know my story and I won’t tell it to them
Got a lot of reasons, let me give you one
Letting people in is always hard for me to do
Open up a door no one is invited through
I will leave them waiting in the pouring rain
Hope they quit, but the opposite I pray
Hope you get it cuz I don’t know
How to take my past and let it go
How long until I call?
How long until I fall
Into your open arms?
How long? Tell me how long?
Everytime I try, I give up
Laying on the floor I try to sit up
I could never be who you wanted me to be
But having motivation for it frightens me
There is something I could never really understand
Why should I follow someone else’s plan
I know myself well enough to know
Any plan I set in motion's set to blow
Up in my face, but I gotta face that
I don't want to follow you into a trap
And let's talk about separating love from lust
If I can't, how am I supposed to trust
That I'll do right by the girl I love
Am I motivated by my sin or what's above
I guess I got time to learn
How to handle love I don’t deserve
How long until I call?
How long until I fall
Into your open arms?
How long? Tell me how long?
And I hate it when they tell me that my story's written
And I say I'll write a new one but they never listen
And I know my sister gets it so I'm not afraid to share it
But if you think you know better, better know how to prevent it
Because if you wanna keep me down
Better know that I run this town
And there's nothing in this world that can scare me
Worse than being left alone with the real me
But if you got something that you wanna say to me
Then talk to me, hard feelings I don't want any
Cause I'm sick of holding all these grudges
Better left to all the fake judges
And I don’t want you to think that I hate you
I just want you to know I forgive you
Cause forgiving you to me is easy
How long until I trust that it’s for me
How long until I call?
How long until I fall
Into your open arms?
How long? Tell me how long

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