Desperate Souls

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Purity

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I've been dreaming with my eyes open in hope to find that someday 
I won't flirt with sadness anymore, placing my hands against the door
I mutter to myself if nothings as it seems
Why can't I get to sleep?
The distorted noise, reminds me I'm alone
And I'm afraid of confessing it, but I've never vented, I can't help it
I wake up exhausted and taunted, by the memories that keep haunting me

I want my life back

Everytime I seem to find some rest, the anxiousness becomes so painless
As if to feel I am on my deathbed
Still restless but no yet buried
Grasping my nails into my sheets, I scream
And for no reason, I'll start to weep

I'll leave myself behind, for old bones
Gathering the broken to bring to a new
To carry my heart alone
Yet I still feel so isolated
I don't know why, I keep spending nights in the cold
And I'm running out of whiskey, to keep the warmth

It's a subtle reminder, that my knuckles are cold
What I knew is barely shattered glass anymore
Different remakes of glass along the wall
Each shard representing who I was
What you used to be
What we used to be
I can't walk away, so please don't walk away from me

And I'll turn my head, around
Only to forget, your "umbrella" can't stop this from
What it meant to me, when the distorted light, blurs the image
As soon as my eyes, met the back of your head

"I'm fighting, I swear I'm fucking fighting man
Fighting for my life
I'm throwing punches at these nights
These nights I lie awake, fight for sleep
Hope I'm not drinking again
Fighting these words on this page
Hope I never have to see them again
I don't know where this will take us both, or the letters to form the words
The words that keep breaking me apart
From the words that we spoke
I will learn from this" 

I'm scared of death
I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die
I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to fucking fade

I'm so fucking scared, of what's here today
I don't want to feel the way that we felt when we did last at the tracks
I'm lifting my head, trying to find some confidence and willingness
I know I'm just a desperate soul, trying to grasp onto your head
I know we're all trying to fucking fight it

There's nothing left, there's no more confidence, so give it up, you're fucking useless
You left me on me deathbed
I've got nothing left
I just want my life back
There's nothing to be said

We're all desperate souls
We're all miserable
We're all desperate souls
And I'm miserable

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