Mark of Death

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T. Karras

3:53

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Life is just so unfair
And it's always going to be unfair
When you got the mark of death
And it's stuck with you forever
Ever since I was born, I was marked for death
Autism and OCD have infected my head
Since the age of 2, I never knew what to do
Even though I’ve learned much, I still feel like a fool
I can’t help but to flair up when I see somebody’s name
With the memory so vivid, it equates to feeling pain
And my mind won’t let it go so how can I control
My destiny, my fate, I feel like life is cold
Everyday of my life I’m being judged by people
Who assume that I’m evil, why you acting like god?
Only he can judge me for the actions I take
Can you see my point of view or are you just fakin?
So you can drive me to suicide, make me so lonely
You make me feel as if that’s the only option
I can’t drop like a fly, God wants me alive
Whether this is hell or not, hey at least I’ll survive
I’ve got the mark of death inside of my head
Always trying to avoid the pain inside of my head
It’s so bad, it makes you wish you were dead
And it makes you wish that you regret
Even living, but you gotta keep giving
100% of your time cause who are you kidding?
You’ll never get rid of the mark of death
So better live until you take your last breath
They know my weaknesses overwhelm my strengths
And the haters will go to exceedingly great lengths
To destroy my standing, cause they know I’m a threat
Not to them, but to the system they claim to represent
I don’t judge people, does that make me a racist?
I do stuff differently, you want me to be complacent?
How can I be when the world is tearing itself apart
Without any remorse, without any heart
I’m in a tough position thinking that I can do something
When all the people I talk to think I can do nothing
Except be a compulsive screw up, It’s called that for a reason
Your head be thinking the same things, you just want it to stop
And your subconscious does things you can’t prevent
Just to get the feeling to stop, it makes you really resent
Who you are, what you are, I’m self-aware myself
Of the state of my mental health and my inner-self
I’ve got the mark of death inside of my head
Always trying to avoid the pain inside of my head
It’s so bad, it makes you wish you were dead
And it makes you wish that you regret
Even living, but you gotta keep giving
100% of your time cause who are you kidding?
You’ll never get rid of the mark of death
So better live until you take your last breath
I can’t change people’s minds, I’ve tried
I was lying to myself saying that I can change
I don’t know if my brain will move on from the past
I don’t even know how long I’m going to last
I’m tempted to just commit suicide, get it over with
But I’m too afraid, so alas, I must persist
With the pain and the shame of who I am
I truly wish I could go ahead with being a man
But the emotions are there like an R&B ballad
Trying to get past them will always going to be a challenge
I wish there were more people who could understand me
Hopefully, this message gets across
Sometimes I’m soft but sometimes I’m hard
Like the double-decker taco, that’s why I spit these bars
So you can understand my pain, understand yours too
Maybe then can you get through what you’re going through
I’ve got the mark of death inside of my head
Always trying to avoid the pain inside of my head
It’s so bad, it makes you wish you were dead
And it makes you wish that you regret
Even living, but you gotta keep giving
100% of your time cause who are you kidding?
You’ll never get rid of the mark of death
So better live until you take your last breath

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