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Matt Parker

Matthew Thomas Parker (born 22 December 1980) is an Australian recreational mathematician, author, comedian, YouTube personality and science communicator. His book Humble Pi was the first maths book in the UK to be a Sunday Times #1 bestseller. Parker was the Public Engagement in Mathematics Fellow at Queen Mary University of London. He is a former maths teacher and has helped popularise maths via his tours and videos. more »

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Toupée, no pay
Show up to the rave 
With half a pound of jerky
Closet full of June's harvest
Saved for October
Closest town to the martyr
Paved from those who slept over
Walking through the lights
Vomit spit on my shoes
It was too bright to see my glasses
Full Moon, Classic Death
Vlasic breath from your boyfriend
I hope he calls me back
But, he's probably scared that you'll end
Jawline falls from my skull onto the carpet
Nice pattern, but your hands fucking tear it
Rose petals drop on my head as you exit
Not as bad as the time you really meant it
Saw you through a glass wall
I'll break if it falls
You always text, never call
Make me feel small
I'm too gay for most girls
So I'm the girlfriend
But every annoying top
Wants to be my boyfriend
F*ck all of them
Can't find nobody normal
But I guess there's never been
So irrelevant to my testaments
My sentiments

Skull carved out
Use it to light lent candles
Wax drop on these dusty sandals
Ready for a tip, but I don't know if I can handle
Ready to kill any illicit threat
I'll tell ya to kiss it, ignorance
When you kicked me into the curb
It was probably your best decision
I'm glad you didn't make any attention
Telling your friends to gather up and listen
They hit me with the special cases
Fucking cover your bases
I'm letting the needle drop on these critics
You know I got the diesel 
Like the Chronicles of Riddick
I'm in it

Why is everything in my life
So divided like the senate
Flow acidic, motherfuckers never really been in it
This is just a taste of my pace
Motherfuckers gotta wait
For their savior, I'm a saint
With enough dinero for a cape
Sitting here in my Armani
Underneath, I'm wearing bape
You better savor this flavor
I'm only here for the paper
That's not really my moniker
I'm just on my ignorant shit
You two bit ruthless toothpicks couldn't solve Rubik's
Got that dropout attitude
College might find me rude
But, I hope it at least gets lude
Before I get my ass up out of school
All these girls used to hate me
Now they nervous when they see
Don't be afraid
I'm still a self-loathing narcissist 
White T-shirt, rocking a black cardigan
On that poet shit
Didn't know that I exist
Til you got my number from your psychiatrist
He said that I'll fix all your fucking problems
Well that's only the half of it
He baffled it
You said it's unfortunate
Matter of fact
It's fucked
What I hide under what I tuck
And what you told me was luck
The sun don't shine where you don't let it
So tie the tourniquet harder, don't wet it
Just accept it, it's the only way to get past it
I counted all my eggs in my basket
Too Early
Blew me like the time you blew your gasket
Too Surely
Wash that lipstick off when I get up in the car
So you can't tell me later not to go to the bar
Child of divorce
History repeats itself
Sorry to be coarse
But I don't censor myself
Raw emotion packs it harder than you did
Smoke me out, tears fall faster than cupid
Out the sky
The glass ball shatters
Too quick for it to matter
I miss you more than you could ever know but that don't even matter

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