Falling Apart

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Cultivate Worship

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It feels like I'm falling apart
I'm hoping for hope in the dark
God's grace is my only way out
I'm hoping for hope, hope in the dark

I've been down and out
So emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained
Walking in the wilderness 
Made me feel like tapping out

I started this journey with steps full of faith
Into the deep, now it's dark, I can't sleep
Every night the enemy comes and he whispers and speaks 
Lies and deceit, death and defeat. 
The funny thing is, what he said I started to believe

Now I'm surrounded by clouds of doubt
I'm in a fight of faith against my own unbelief
There's a battle in my mind
These strongholds are tryna' get me deceived
The roaring lions back and he's roaming
While I'm isolated and weak

I'm Peter, the devil wants to sift me like wheat
Feels like my faith has been beat
I've been robbed and stripped naked
I desperately need the Good Samaritan to heal me 
And pick me up off the street

How long has it been? 
This seasons been extreme
Days, weeks, months over a year of wandering in the wilderness
Feels like I've lost vision and dreams
I've been confused, broken and at times lost
Tryna' figure out what this all means

The devils got my mind running in circles
Playing failures on repeat
Have I created new pathways in my brain?
Cause failures all I can think and see

I've been unaware of the enemies schemes
As he tries to attack my faith it suffers as it's squeezed
It's unbearable, I can't breathe
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemies

I'm facing a crisis
And hope has left the scene
But by the grace of God I'll get through this season
Jesus is all I need
And that's enough
And worth all the pain and crushing I've felt for countless weeks

To be honest
This wilderness season has made me feel like giving up and quitting isn't such a bad idea
I've been living in a valley of darkness and fear where nothing seems clear

We are called to walk through the valley of the shadow of death 
To walk through

But it just feels like I've been walking through one valley 
And straight into the next

Valleys of trials and tests
Valleys of darkness and death
Valleys of depression and stress

From the valley of discouragement
To the of valley of disappointment
To the valley of despair

I'm missing the point of these valleys if I do not meet God there
The point of a valley is for God and I to draw near
God meet me in my valley as I wait in faith here

The wilderness has taught me a lot
It's tested my faith and is still busy purifying my heart
It's drawn me to deeper dependency on God
It's encouraged endurance to follow Jesus
Through His strength I'll never stop

Have I suffered?  Yes

But by God's Grace, suffering can bring out our best.

Suffering produces perseverance, character and hope
Faith is not a destination but a journey of growth

So if you've been stretched, please do not give up hope
God uses the wilderness to transform us to where we need to go

If you've wandered in the wilderness, you're not alone

Reach out to God, keep praying, feed your faith and don't let go

If it feels like you're falling a part
Trust me
There's hope, there's hope in the dark

It feels likes I'm falling apart
I know that theres hope in the dark
God's grace is my only way out
I know that there's hope, hope in the dark

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