The Majorca Song

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Ivor Biggun

Robert "Doc" Cox (born 1 July 1946), also known as Ivor Biggun, is a British musician and former television journalist. He is known for his appearances on the BBC TV programme That's Life! from 1982 to 1992 and for four albums of humorous, smutty songs. Currently resident in Suffolk, he is active in several pub bands, including the Trembling Wheelbarrows. more »

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Unos, dos, tres Suzy Quatro

Every year when summer is here
I save up m' money and fly
To the land of the sun, fornication and fun
And never let a dago by

Buenos knockers por favor
As I sniff up the breezes
There's a whiff in the air
Of ambre solaire
And Julio Inglesias
All day beneath the parasols, I prat around on the beach
All night I'm pissed as ars'oles and incapable of speech

But I'm going back to Majorca
Back to the prettiest girl that I've seen
I nearly went crackers
When she held my maracas
And I burst her tambourine
She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé

Olé, olé, olé, olé,
Olé, oh lay me down quick
Iy iy, iy iy, iy iy, iy iy
I think I'm gonna be sick

"Ooh that's better out than in"

I don't go swimmin' I just look at the women
As I stroll down by the ocean
They don't wear vests upon their chests
They just wear sun-tan lotion

Buenos knockers por favor
Una paloma blanca
I go to Spain, get out of my brain
And act like a wanker
I wear reflective sunglasses to secretly stare at the tits
But I never drink the water, in case I get the shits

I'm going back to Majorca
To get up to m' scrotum in sin
There's lots of how's-yer-father down on the Costa Brava
And they blame it on jet-lag and gin
She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé

But when I get back to Worksop
And the sand runs out of my socks
I'll dream of that sweet senorita
Who gave me a dose of... la dolce vita
And a vimto on the rocks

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