Head in the Wall

Ethel CainEthel Cain 

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Ethel Cain

Hayden Silas Anhedönia (born March 24, 1998), known professionally as Ethel Cain, is an American singer-songwriter and artist born in Tallahassee, Florida and living in Enterprise, Alabama. In mid 2017, Cain began experimenting with writing, recording, and producing her own ethereal style Gregorian chant inspired music. After releasing various mixtapes and EPs on streaming platforms under the moniker White Silas, as well as sites like SoundCloud and Tumblr, she adopted a more alternative sound and began using the Ethel Cain moniker in mid 2019. Cain's music deals in nostalgic and American gothic themes of the Southern United States, such as poverty, substance abuse, domestic violence, death, and transgenerational trauma. Her music has been associated with the… more »

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Sometimes you make wanna put my fucking head through the wall
Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all
Fall asleep to the sound of your old rotating fan 
I cut the f*ck out of myself and soaked the bedsheets with blood again 

I hold my head underwater just to drown out the noise
It's always my fault, girls will be bitches, and boys will be boys
I know I don't need you but I'm terrified of letting you go
Even after all the times you fucked the shit out of me while I was crying no 

How am I supposed to feel good about myself when everything I do is wrong
When I'm just an ugly bitch, a fucking freak, and I don't wanna go on
I don't wanna leave my house cause I know everybody's staring at me now
Why the hell am I alive, is what they think, they wanna take me down

I can't get out, can't run away, there's no escaping you now 
I'm gonna die all alone, next to you in this piece of shit town 
We've been cursed since the start, jesus didn't want us 
And you take all of your sins out on my body like everyone else does 

Shooting up our old school when we get bored of shooting up
F*ck the cops, and f*ck god, and f*ck this town for ruining us 
They'll put holes in all we own and in our heads, pumped full of lead 
You always told me i could only leave you once we're both dead

Sometimes you make wanna put my fucking head through the wall
Sometimes i wonder if I ever even knew you at all

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