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Jon

Jon is a shortened form of the common given name of Jonathan, derived from "YHWH has given", and an alternate spelling of John, derived from "YHWH has pardoned". In 2008, Jon was the 527th most popular name in the United States; its popularity has declined steadily (sometimes increasing, but not substantially) since its peak in 1969 as number 65. more »

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God I feel like a failure there's no path insight
I can't trust your guidance when I can't see your light
Feels like I can't move everything holds me back
Yet you tell me to go to move forward, attack
It seems like a battle that I'll never win
Seems like you might never love me again
And these are the thoughts that I constantly get
When I seem like I'm fine and set free from my stress
But I'm not can't you see that's just what it looks like
I'm not ok, it feels like I'm trapped in this life
And when I feel alone at the lowest I've been
That's when Satan rolls up tryna tempt me again
And he tells me I'm fine I don't need any help
He tells me I'll get through this life by myself
He says my life's worthless that nobody cares
And I start to believe all the lies that he shares
But I'm done giving into his stupid temptations
Whatever I do leads to self-deprecation
I can't even get over the mass of self-hate
To realize God wants me in my current state
Gods love's not a prize that you win down the road
Gods love's not a thing to be earned or be owed
God gives out his love for free to us all
He won't take it away when we stumble or fall

I'm done giving into these stupid temptations
Can't even get over the mass of self-hate
Gods love's not a prize that you win down the road
God gives his love out for free to us all

Everyone says that I'll turn out ok
If I keep looking then I'll find my way
But the more that I look I get feeling that lost
They say you'll succeed but it comes at a cost
Mr. Wayne says we fall so we learn to get up
But I think that maybe I've been taught enough
I go lower and lower, 6 feet underground
When I need you there most is when you're never around (Hear me out)
And I honestly don't know what I have left to do
All the things that I run to don't help me pull through 
As I sit here all broken in shattered facade
I realize the last thing I ran to was God
So maybe my problems that I don't come to you first
I cry out and reach for all my worldly thirsts
Then they all fail my foundation is shattered
And I ran from your love when it actually mattered

Now I know these lines won't satisfy what you want
He dropped a hot single but he talked about God
He can spit kind of fast but he's missing the sauce
Nah get out of my head I get lost in my thoughts
What else could you want me to write raps about
I'm not gonna be fake so if you are, get out
You want me to write about life turning upright
Then go somewhere else it's been a pretty rough night
It's been a rough night? Oops I meant a rough life
You want me to rap about struggles I fight
I can't grasp the fact that someone might care
I don't care for myself so in my head I compare
How I stack up to everyone else that God loves
Don't get me wrong I'm on the list that's above
But I get so self conscious it seems like they're perfect
So I think over here full of flaws, I'm not worth it

Now do me a favor, think back on these verses
I want you to notice the words used on purpose
I said think and seems and feels like, a lot
Maybe you caught on and it stirred up some thought
But it's meaningful, most of the time it's a lie
I'm not actually worthless life's not too hard to try
But that's what my mind tells me that's how I feel
But just how I feel sometimes just isn't real
Truth is God loves me and he knows what's up
He knows every time I don't feel like enough 
He knows my heart every confidence bluff
Yet I still tell myself I'm the last one he'll love
After this, can't you see that we're dead without Christ?
No you won't be ok you need him in your life
Cause trust me I've tried it you can't live without
Man I almost died cause of all of this doubt

When we start to take credit we start to believe
That we don't need God our own strengths all we need
The only place my own strength gets me is Hell
And trust me that's not a fact in your heart that sits well
So God hear my prayer please help me run to you
Please help my heart to want what you do
Cause I'm empty I'm nothing my own strength is worthless
So I humble myself unto you in these verses
That's it

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