The Subtlety of Lies

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Small smile
I am fine
No need to express that I'm not
All the while
It's the lies
I told myself deep in the box

You tell me to calm my shit
But you're not around to help it
Spiraling down I can't stop it
You just bolt when it gets intense

At your convenience
I showed too much lenience 
Giving you my only weakness
It gets too real
And you just quit
The common harbor for your ship

You tell me to calm my shit
But you're not around to help it
Spiraling down I can't stop it
You just bolt when it gets intense

Left at the altar, guess I'm not worth the time
I always falter, but that's me at my best
I dropped the ball, never been my sport
I lost it all, one my failure I guess

You think you got me pinned
That my will is spent
But you just pretend
To be along until the end
You cause more harm than you fix
I'm stuck in park while you begin to drift
Into my problems with no plan
I just wish that you'd understand
The only time you're needed
Is when I'm down and beaten
Prostrated and prone as I'm curled
Broken by this fucking world
I thought I couldn't survive without you by my side 
But goddamn it, I'm telling myself fucking lies

You tell me to calm my shit
But you're not around to help it
Spiraling now I can't stop it
You just bolt when it gets intense
You tell me to calm my shit
You tell me to calm my shit
You tell me to calm my shit
But you're not around to help it

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