Time to Myself

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Conner Bean

3:18

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I need time to myself
I need space and no one else
I lose all my patience but there’s lots under my belt
It just matters how you’re feeling you forget bout how you felt
But my problem is I’m feeling jaded and I feel like someone else
Surrounded by people
They love me and all that but I need some leisure
I looked for a sequel
I’m stuck in the past and I’m pulling this needle
The thread is of evil
It’s trying to tie me and trying to forsake me
It’s driving me crazy
I know that it hates me
I give it reminders to give me some spacing
And I just feel
I feel boxed in
Come with caution
Working so much my room’s my office
I stay locked in
I don’t clock out and I’m never gonna stop it
I can’t lie, no I can’t fake this
Every single day it’s the same thing but
I’ll be patient
I’ll be waiting
Heart is heavy and it’s been stained cause
Cause I’m in my mind
And I’m gonna lose it if I can’t be fine
I do not like
When I feel broken out and inside
Working every night
Working every day
Helps me when I’m broken even though I feel the same
Stay out my mind when I’m in my space
Loving everybody but I’m stuck and I feel I’m in a rage
I need time to myself
I need space and no one else
I lose all my patience but there’s lots under my belt
It just matters how you’re feeling you forget bout how you felt
But my problem is I’m feeling jaded and I feel like someone else
I need time to myself
I need time to myself
Time to think about the places my mind has been headed right now
I need time to myself
I need time to myself
Time to think and feel about my thoughts on what I’m feeling right now
Surrounded by visions
They’re getting more scary and getting more vivid
I have no interest
In getting no better so I could be different
I cannot live
This state that I’m in
I don’t mean Ohio but what my mind’s in
Time to myself till I say time in
Look at who I am and that’s when I cringe
And I can’t express
Every single day I been feeling depressed
Like a reject
Tell me that I’m shallow but I’m swimming in the deep end
I can’t pretend
Thoughts in my head I just wonder if they leave yet
Call me lately
I go crazy because I can’t help I’m feeling weakened
Got no validation
Say I feel amazing
Put on my fake face and
Walk around like I feel great and
I’m not feeling greatness
That’s an understatement
My life’s feeling caged in
Can’t break out I’m lost and faded
If I wasn’t me
And wanted to live
If I could retrieve
If only I did
I’ll open up
I know you won’t get
Thoughts in my head
That’s showing the end
I can’t pretend
Can’t make amends
Socially awkward
I can’t make a friend
Lost most of them
Most of the rest I don’t think that they really want anything to do with
Me
Late nights can’t sleep
So I’m counting up the sheep
I’m like 1 2 3 4 5 and 6
And that’s when I fall asleep
I’m not having happy dreams
I don’t say it happily
I’m not like a magazine
Even if you have to read
I won’t let you into me
Looking for a victory
I can’t even take a leap
Not of faith and I can’t even seem to think
I need time to myself
I need space and no one else
I lose all my patience but there’s lots under my belt
It just matters how you’re feeling you forget bout how you felt
But my problem is I’m feeling jaded and I feel like someone else
I need time to myself
I need time to myself
Time to think about the places my mind has been headed right now
I need time to myself
I need time to myself
Time to think and feel about my thoughts on what I’m feeling right now

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