Cutting

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Yak Zoo

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Back when I was a dumb little kid
So many feelings that I hid
The emotions just got so damn strong
Thought it wasn't right, thought they didn't belong
Hold in the fear, year after year
Appear that you don't hear what's clear
Gotten so severe, no one sees the tears
Driving around in the wrong gear
The smoking and the drinking just didn’t take
I tried all the candy, ate all the cake
Slithering around, that god damn snake
Nothing could get to that invisible ache
You know you can't touch a feeling
No matter what kind of shit you're dealing
You just gotta keep concealing, reeling
No room in there for healing
Went for the knife, just a little small blade
Grabbed onto the handle, I was so afraid
I was never good at cutting
I was never good at cutting
I was never good at cutting
I was never good at cutting myself
There was something to it something nobody said
Just to watch the drip drip drip of red
Couldn't explain it, just no way to frame it
You know it got me out of bed
I knew that it was wrong, knew that I had strayed
Shoulda talked about it, shouldn't need a blade
But the burn of the cuts felt so damn good
Somebody finally open up the hood
The pain of my emotions were finally real
To see it on the body, to see the feel
Wanna know the truth? I'm ashamed it didn't scar
Maybe a sign of weakness, I know this gets bizarre
I was never good at cutting
I was never good at cutting
I was never good at cutting
I was never good at cutting myself
It's many years later, I'm past that old war
No need to cut myself anymore
Maybe I finally walked through that door
Maybe I know what a blade is for
But the funny thing that I can’t ignore
I still keep that knife in my sock drawer

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