Ruby

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Son Anthony

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The anathema of feeling reenactments
After being asked by counselors to see where I'm at
Let it die
I choose what to be vocal about and I'm shouting internally til I immerse myself
Into deep pools of sorrow that have waves of joy
When they crash over my head, I get refreshed by the emotions
As the undertow of all this is so marvelously faint
When all that matters are that the sing-a-longs are less about pain
And I don't blame them
We all have a lot on our plates
The name of the game is "appearance" and a lot is at stake
I shake a fist at those ungrateful for their well preserved principals
While mine die due to wistfulness
It's not that simple
The occurrence of nostalgia stinging like a nipple twist
As I am wistful til the end and I won't bet that'll change
I'm a deranged author estranged from the same artwork
I arranged to wane off of the pain in my heart
And It's all that recall that seems to make this all possible
I lift off like an astronaut to get out of this horror show

We party only to forget (to forget)
Then we hardly ever choose to accept these reasons
A secret too hard to be kept til we wet what we whistle with to spit it out

I've been training my heart to hate you
Trying my hardest. Lying til I stay true
I've wasted way too many days as a slave to
Finding out the formula that makes me obey
I can't take this. Hanging on to faith that is baseless
All the love now has gone to dust piles
Dying in your arms from combustion inside out
And I'm sure that your desires were found
As the preponderance of unresponsive motives you exhibit
Seem as nothing to yourself but rip to shreds the willing idiot
Who is kicking himself
If your interiors crushed then I'm all for 'mirror mirror'
Cuz the validation that you crave is off on a bus
You have you at the end of the day
To interpolate concerns to someone else is so strange
What's the other way to do it. I'll be waiting for an answer
Cuz I'm tired of the scribing and my shyness is a cancer
Who is giving themselves away?
Don't take it. Rather make them feel sorry for feeling for feeling this

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