Reflection

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Ray Gambeno

4:40

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What a year to take in
All the tears and heartbreaking
Wake up out of sleep shaking
crying
So much pain I cant hide in
Man I feel guilty for even smiling
What a fucked year can I please rewind it
But I’m left with silence
Prayers unanswered left me heartless
Lost in darkness
All this pain inside I harbour
Everyday I die of fake laughter
Cause the grief inside it gets harder
Cause I witnessed the worst that life can life can give
Taken my life of bliss
Taken the ones I love
And turned them into the ones I miss
Driving to central with Odot and my girl
Got a phone call that I lost my sis
Far from pissed
Scrap that
No word can describe how far I felt from this
Instant pain
All I’m doing is seeing her face
Hearing her laugh
Calling my name
Where I zoned out so much
I didn’t realise its my girl in the back thats calling my name
Instant regret and sorrow
Life ain’t promised tomorrow
Living on time that borrowed
All I know that the love has left my soul and left me hollow
All I wanted to do was hold her hand and say I’m sorry
Last time we ever did speak on the phone I'm going on nutty
Shouting fuckery
And she never did judge me
She there like when the feds came for me
She would hide me never lost faith in me
OG sis that’s faithfully
I’m left behind please wait for me
I remember the date and the times all painfully
The weight of the coffin
Don’t compare to the pressure that stays on me
To lay you down was pain to see
I can’t say goodbye because you stay with me
Your love your spirit
So much life
So forgiving
Always giving
6 weeks later Grenfell burnt down
All them kids and woman
If you watch them videos from inside
Oh my God it’s chilling
Don’t expect no justice in a white mans world
All they want is wealth
Clad up the building left man to burn in a fire
Hours screaming for help
I was watching the videos screaming for help
Praying to God
Watching these people go through hell
Lord give them the strength and take them well
And save the rest in this greedy world
They cover up lies and murder
They cover up lies and death
Look at the size of the building
72 people dead
Tell me how these devils in power can sleep in bed
No respect for this country
Show respect for what queen
Bun a fire pon her and feds
After dat I guess everything bless
How can man be happy when everyday man see stress
Go to a rave
Jump on da mic like Yeah
Na f*ck dat might just kick off the decks
Roll up a Rasta man spliff and flex
Anything Right now gets me upset
So I just chill in my yard
Me and my girl just book two flights then gone
Take her Geneva everything calm
Soon as we touch back problems ah gwan
I am not living a life
I am just living the fight
Everyday tryna do better but nothing just seems to go right
All of the suffering killing the person inside
People will ask me
Where is the videos
Where is the music
Why do you start and then stop
I tell em I’m living the life you are not
I tell em I’m doing the work you are not
You talk about shit dat you see on the block
I talk about people I see in the box
All of my niggas from ends
Living a life in the pen
OG been inside from 0 10
Little cuz inside getting mad weng
I did my time they tried it again
18 months been backed in a corner
To what I’m going through
Blood thats water
Mum so stressed out she lost a daughter
She lost a bro
All that pain that I didn’t know
Now I carry that deep in my soul
Cant let that go
Sometimes I feel forsaken the way you show your love my lord
Or must we go through the fire to show you how much we love thy lord
All I wanted was peace and love
But all I see is money and grub
Is this the life you wanted for us
Greed and war
Fucking these yats on tour
Millions poor
But millionaire still wants more
Gassed off money in the bank
But that wont bring back someone that you just saw
Lost to the lord
Oh my lord
The good die young but tell me what for
Little kids stabbed up dead on the floor
Mum don’t know what to do anymore
Everyone online talks
But no one talks of course
Everyone thinks they’re the guy with sauce
Don’t get ketchup blood better mind how you talk
Best remember that life’s to short
Ain’t no re-spawn from a dead corpse
Ain’t no points when you get a head shot
Ain’t no gameboy better fix up
All them bad vibes they’re gonna catch up
Man I hope you’re bad when you get wrapped up
Bad mind round here they don’t love
Everyone been through enough
Grief tears pain and blood
Man I cant express all the stress I hide
Bottle that deep inside and ride
Couple more months in time
Gotta get opp’ed on hope dat Yah be there by my side
Its I

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