Summer of 2019

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Hoyt

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Lemme tell u bout that summer 2019
I had to go,
I had to move away from home
I felt alone
Lot of nights I cried to my mom on the phone
But she would start yelling making me feel worse
I don't mean to throw her in the dirt
But she really made me feel like I was cursed
She told me "what am I supposed to do ur depressed all the time"
I said sorry, hung up the phone, and held it all inside
I had no pride
I had no life
I was 16 turning 17
Thinking about the things I've heard and seen
My brother and my sister in law had this look on their faces
On a Daily base sis
It looked like they were sick of me on a daily bases
I was trying to be patient
I just stayed inside my room
Felt a different level of this gloom
That feeling of ultimate doom
I just cried myself to sleep every night I lived there
I was feeling fucking pinned there
I was treated like I sinned there
No one wanted to deal with me and my problems
Broken promises
Started smoking cigarettes
Once again
Put the bud on the ground and get to stomping it
And every time I looked at the balcony I considered jumping it
Lost again
Lost again inside my head
I don't know where to go, sleeping on this fucking air bed
Do I remember the good times?
Yes
but they felt a lot less
Than the bad and depressed
I'm using this song as therapy
And when I left, it felt clear u didn't care for me
And u only wanted your home to yourself
Even tho I was quiet and kept to myself
Like a bad story on a bookshelf
I'm just saying how I felt
I'm just saying how I felt

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