Hold Me Up (Not Fatherless)

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Run run away it's ok no need to bother
All I need is my God my heavenly Father

Was I not cute enough
D'you ever see me as a baby
Were you just too scared to stay and try to raise me
Did my mom make you leave by not loving you right
Did you almost turn around and come back that night
When you see a boy with his dad do you feel the same way I do
Or has the thought of me never even mattered to you
Have you ever done a single thing that wasn't for yourself
You used to like to beat my mom, what d'you run out of belts
Were you scared I might grow up and not be shook of you son
Was your father a coward too and he taught you how to run
You know my little mom raised three boys all alone
A stinkin' wet basement apartment was our home
I grew up around scum my innocence was robbed
Got expelled from school after school man I was lost
I found a crew, we ran in the streets like a pack of dogs
I was lyin' tellin' myself I was better off

Hold me up, hold me up, I need you to hold me up
Hold me up, hold me up, I need you to hold me up
Hold me hold me up

But the truth is my heart was covered in anger, danger
No one taught me how to shave so I got other plans for my razor
And as I'm standin' on the block while a cop's paddin' me down
I wonder where I would be if my pops had just stayed around
Sometimes at night I reflect on the cards that I was handed
I can't begin to explain what it's like being abandoned
I think of those two little guys sleepin' next door
I'd give my whole life for them, you couldn't give a portion of yours
And what if I would search for you, would you ignore me again
Do you have another son that you love and protect
I was that kid outside throwin' a ball against the wall
Getting screamed on by a stressed out mom
I was born humble on the wrong side of the tracks
And now where I'm at, it's like I'm on glass and it's cracked
To avoid slippin' back I cut off dudes from my past
I try to make new friends but I can't relate to these cats

On my own and You came to

Hold me up, hold me up, I need you to hold me up
Hold me up, hold me up, I need you to hold me up
Hold me hold me up

The first time I rode along without my training wheels
Wind blowin' through my hair seein' how great it feels
There was no one there to see it, no ones hand on my back
No one to hear me crying on the ground when I crashed
And I was scared to walk home from school as a kid
They threw rocks at me 'cause of the color of my skin
I still have nightmares of walkin' home in the dark
No one to protect me tell me it's okay even though it's not
And Christian school didn't help, I was thrown out and expelled
So please forgive me if I keep to myself
Worried about what others think, I'm not good enough
To this day I still feel better with my hoodie up
This girl made me feel loved so I married her
Growing up this way showed me God's character
'Cause while this man didn't want me God was watchin' above me
I see Him love me when my kids come runnin' to hug me

Run run away it's ok no need to bother
All I need is my God my heavenly Father

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