An Overhaul

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C Alexander

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You never really had a chance to be thirteen years old
You always wasted half your afternoons and evenings waiting home
And when he'd come, the jokes he'd tell would meet the icy stares
Of your mother while your brother cranked his stereo upstairs
But you'd smile knowing all the while there's no point to anything
That there was not anything there to comprehend

Oh now, don't you worry pretty baby
You're almost old enough to make a hell for someone else

You never gave yourself the chance to be a young fourteen
Letting boys with lambent lips to what they want inside your jeans
You'd leave your wireframes at home and bring your padded bra
Wearing black, smoking menthols, taking anything and all
Oh that smile! That awful fucking smile! That's how you get everything
There's a price on everything others have to pay

But don't you worry pretty darling
You're old enough to make a private hell for someone else

You are a drunken telephone call
You're a number on a wall
You are the last train out of town
You are a worn and weathered doll
You are a guilt that can't atone
You are a name no one recalls
Your body has a body count
It's all you have that isn't dull

Listen
What I've learned can't fill a skinny book
I have learned to tell the difference between breath
That shows itself in fog and clouds of smoke
The other, filled with refuse,
Lingers just a moment longer
Before vanishing
Into the starless autumn night

People like to say that they don't change
That all their lives are ordered
Like some TV movie
All adversity and aptitude
A place of birth that's somewhere west
Of every major road
A soul that's flinted by parades of enemies
And systems, fools, and traps

But everybody sleeps somewhere
Where they never see the sun
And waking up the next day
They're never certain what it is they've done

Don't forget to break it when it works
If it takes work than it takes two
If it takes two there are no sides
If there are no sides then you quit
Don't forget to leave the fireworks inert
So when they fly into
The summer skyline, they don't bloom
They simply fall and die the same

You are a sad and shallow tease
You are a monster when you're drunk
You are incapable of love
You are your father's little girl
Your bedroom has a broken frame
It's all you have to tell the time
Your body has a body count
It's all you have to hide behind

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