Don't Come Here (And Tell Me You Tried)
Bethan Le Mas
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I am not that which was born to be moulded unto your will To be taken and shaped for your eyes For nobody's eyes I will not walk the way you have laid out for me I will not speak with the words you have decided we could own I never told a lie except the many ones that saved me And I've never been told the truth by a man who looked anything like you Don't interrupt me, do not touch me Look how I may look, I'm not for your seeing If she were another, if she were your mother Damn how you know me, I'm still a human being They poisoned all the water so we're sick and tired and grey And I'm sitting on the rooftop picking off the ones who like us that way Who trap us and make us dogfight Want us so bad they beat us dead Your sorry lack of insight will not excuse the things you've said And don't come here and tell me you tried When you haven't said a word Or got your hands dirty If you can't pick up arms to fight For my right to be more than your property You don't deserve me And I don't deserve this Every word is not a gift: it's mediocre radiation And I don't care for your opinion when it's unasked for And you're trying to be wise If I paint myself in scarlet colours I do it for the birds and trees I do it for the concrete towers I do it to do as I please If you'd hit me for a kiss then it's not long before I'll be Bleeding out on the carpet And well, you've never known how to keep the carpets clean We have another language And I'm sorry that you never learnt the words But it's not my job to teach you Not when you're treating us like dirt And paying less than our worth You tell me to be polite like your pride is earned Like it's worth more than my peace, more than my body Worth more than my life There's nothing that I say that's not me getting in the way She should just be a pawn to play Your daughter-sister-mother-wife And don't come here and tell me you tried When your friend took my friend home when she was blackout When half the world was measured by your wandering eyes And the wandering hands you drunkenly deny We don't deserve this If I flinch from your voice, from your jokes or from your hand It matters not what you have done This world has told me you're a threat Moderate your words and choices Softer shoulders, lower voices I have to check my every move and thought when I speak to you There's a moment when you pause and I see once you were a child And before you were taught that we are stupid You were raised with your mother's touch But a clever woman became a witch And a speaking one because a bitch And you were left clutching the kindling Lost and so sure that you needed the fire I know with half a mind still that a better man has been Who sees this and rages, who sees beauty and still weeps But all that falls too short, too distant One good man is not enough You're scared we're laughing at you We're scared you'll murder us And don't come here and tell me you tried When you know you haven't tried And don't come here and tell me you tried When you haven't tried No and don't come here and tell me you tried When you haven't tried at all (You'd be lying if you told me you'd been trying)
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