Waiting in Vain (For Mama)

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Defpoet Supreme

5:25

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It's been 3 years
Since I'm knocking on your door
And I still can knock some more 

Merry Christmas mama 
I've lost count on how many missed us mama
For so long it's just been 
Me and my niggas mama 
You wasn't wit us mama 
And they wasn't wit me mama 
I often flashback to times you would hit me mama
You would say
Before me life was great 
You used to resent me mama
When's the last time you kissed me mama did you forget me mama 
Don't you miss me mama
Knowing you wronged
Your first born
You don't feel empty mama
Oh wait, you had another child
You don't have to pick me mama
That was history mama
Tryna put it all behind me
I'm on my 10 speed mama
Yellow paint, blue pedals for the brake
The same one you bought me 
When I went to 2nd grade
I gotta go get me mama
Did all that time in prison  
You ain't come get me mama 
That shit hurts me mama
Why I'm not worthy mama
Time to stop fronting mama
Is it that, you couldn't give me all you had
Cuz you already gave it to my dad
And the shit went bad
Tell me something mama 
Why we fussing mama
If I say that you hurt me
You say f*ck it, you birth me
Quit all that cussing mama 
I just want a discussion mama
I can't tell you nothing mama
What about my story mama
You want all the glory mama
Backed me in a corner
But I got 1 last shot
Robert Horry mama
And imma take it mama 
Ain't no pump faking mama
The balls in my court
I'm fast breaking mama
What were you thinking mama
That having me was enough?
That you didn't have to respect me 
Growing up 
It was ok to neglect me 
And not give me none of your love
I had to sleep in the car mama
I ended up on the yard mama 
It ended up going that far mama
Shit was hard mama
You accepted the call mama
But I was at war mama
Look how you doing me
Shit almost ruined me
I was the only punching bag you had
For Shit had nothing to do with me
Still won't own up to abusing me
It's cool with me
Just stop wit the foolery 
You're not innocent mama
Talking about all the pain you had
When you was giving it mama
Too busy dishing it mama
Oh no we gotta finish this mama
I'm still angry mama
I had no one to save me mama
I'm damn near crazy mama
And you can't tame me mama
And I miss you mama
Mama I miss you 
I miss you being mama
Instead of 
Being drama
Always needing power
But mama when will you learn 

Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting
While I'm waiting for my turn

Waiting for my turn for you to love me 
Like you love him
No, I want you to say you love me
And f*ck him
I wish everything you done me
You Done him
That way Then, he would be able to see how it feels
To love a woman that hates you
That shit just gave me chills
Because she's the one that made you
Can't understand why she being so hateful 
So many tears throughout the years 
You could have a lake full

My eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn

Burn like the bridge that once connected us
On the road less traveled
Yo soul unraveled 
And it affected us
Nothing was the same mama
No matter what you say
Nothings out trumping the pain mama
I had to go to prison 
To not go insane mama
And you don't know the man I became mama
On a changed path
You chose to let the train pass
It's a shame mama
And I don't wanna wait in vain mama

Not for your love

But I'm hoping that you can find some peace
Even tho you've chose to live your life without me
Even tho you fell in love with me first
And then broke my heart on prom night 
You used to really be the mom type
Like, used to be the bomb type
Then you got cold like Klondike 
You just got bitter
I became just another n*gger 

Ooh girl ooh girl 
Is it feasible 
I wanna know now
For I to knock some more

Before, we forever close that door
And board up the fuckin windows 
Put tarp on the roof
And yellow tape the block
This house ain't a home
Never make the mistake to stop
Here
You've lost a lot... here
I've never forgot here
And you bob here 
Like I'm not here
Ok ok I have the symptoms 
And you play the victim 
It's not clear
But it stops here

Because... 
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

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