Mama's Boy

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I always thought that I'll be happy with some money, well now I got some money
Now I wanna bring you back with this rapping 
Now we all know that can't happen, but who says that I can't wish 
And it's extremely hard to think it, let alone say this 

Hold it down mama, you my dawg, you know I miss you
You wouldn't want me crying, I know, but I had to, take that back, I have to
But they sad no more, they ain't confused no more, they ain't angry no more 

I think I'm closer to the dream of selling out stores
But I'm not sure because the stores ain't really no stores no more 
I thought I was close to falling in love, but I'm not sure no more
Yeah they pretty sure enough, but I dont know anymore

I'm just lost, cold and alone, completely out of the zone
Not talking about the comfort, on that side of the fence I'm great on 
Can't even put the brakes on, haven't had the chance to think
Haven't had the chance to speak, haven't had the chance to breathe

After discomfort comes with ease, at least that's what they told me
Because they don't have the memories on the nights you used to hold me
Even on the days when you told me, don't be out here running the streets
Make sure you always looking clean, make sure you always eat

I'll make sure to find some peace, a white tee and Jordan 3's and a chair 
While I'm at it, I'm riding back to Mellon Street 
And to put on a grin when they see me, this time it's no doubt 
I know you always up there smiling, saying boy - 

History is in the making
If the pace isn't set for me, imma make it
Rolling through 430 just to assess all the damages 
Rolling through 430 just to reassure the plan again 

Tell my mother I love her, almost ain't have the heart to keep on trucking
No need for the bluffing end of discussion, 
I'm at a disconnect, between the right and left 
Combined with stress, in other words my life is a mess

All my friends got babies now, exes got bridal showers, crushes got bridal gowns
Was this in the plan for me, to practice so heavily, for a flow so heavenly 

Tears of success they rain down on my Jesus piece
But I don't know if that's success or it's sorrow
Wide awake but this still a nightmare on the hollow
I will trade this all today to see my mama tomorrow 

I came back, pants sagging, still chasing the dragon 
With this rapid fire rapping, still causing reactions 
Had a run in with the matrix, but I'm skipping the crashing 
Still the best in the world, but you thinking I'm bragging

I'm a one man feature, I'm the whole magazine 
Got sick of being in the shadows, put the spotlight on me
Trying to cap the lighting trapped in the bottle twice was my vice
Now I'm riding through the city like I'm Tommy Vercetti 

I ain't playing, what you saying, with no gas I'm still blazing
Quick to flip a couple tables if able, a solo stable, even with cable
You don't want no static, it's problematic 
Even if you read the manual it's still automatic

I don't need your approval, I don't need your committee 
I don't need no brass rings handed out by a city
I shattered the glass ceiling with no glass in my eyes, can't go back to square one when I'm on 35, I tried 

Maybe I'm too driven by my passion to succeed 
Maybe I'm just way over my head with these dreams
Where's your feature, where's N*****
That's what you need, that's your weakness 
If you think that's what I'm fearing, who I'm needing, you can't see me

There are people that need me, either dead or alive 
I'm still up, jeans ripped at the thigh, sneakers untied
I got my head in the clouds, wiping lightning out my eyes
I can't tell my God kids I failed cause I ain't try 

And since my grandmama died, I've been trying to gain composure 
All these demons 'round me while I'm tryna keep my head up
Let me not throw the race card, but the Trump card will ace ya
Coming from a place if you make a mark, they'll erase ya

Shout out my exes, I see y'all out here stepping
Clicking flutes of champagne glasses, popping depressants 
You see me under fire, just know it's all suppressive 
I'm from the hood I know the block, I just don't wanna see it

Lost my grandmama, my aunt and friends, and I ain't never grieved it
Went to hell and back and beat my demons, they just don't believe it
I done, tripped and stumbled, number 1 in the rumble
And that rumble is royal, the ring you'll be under

Still the best in the world, 430 the come up 
And I ain't stopping until I see a come up over the come up

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