Paper Bag

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How come every time I try to think of my rationale
Mind is blank, having trouble, can’t recall what I felt
Always wrestle with myself, why am I tapping out
Caving in, dark thoughts, overshadow the doubt
How am I never satisfied, never content
When I have it all I’m craving is the freedom again
When I’m free all I need is to be taken again
Polar opposites attracting, doesn’t make any sense
And now you’re popping in my dreams, so I’m trying not to wake up
There when I’m awake so it ain’t my choice to stay up
Losing sleep, scroll through my phone and pull your page up
Sanity is on the line, trying not to hang up
Ain’t fun, mile a minute, my brain is smoked out
Fuzzy vision, shatter the glasses in this stone house
Locked down, even if I wanted can’t go out
Blame the ‘rona, like I was happy before it broke out
Striving for the time before the universe done betrayed me bad
Back when all I had to do was hold on to that paper bag
Only if I knew what were to follow, every changing path
Now all I have the strength to do is hold on to that paper bag
Not recalling this part of the fairy tale
With all the thought I give it, think I’m knowing it very well
Posed to get better broken free from the spell
It ain’t got a happy ending, both scared as hell
And I’m never one to sit back and take all this shit
Without a plan, so I’ll pay ‘em just to change up the script
I know what writer’s block is, but there’s a plot to untwist
So change it back, take my offer when it finally ships
I’ve been scraping the cushions, broken piggy banks shattered
All over the wooden floor, no one asking the matter
Try to put together any valuable I can gather
Or you can take the last seven months if you would rather
But now I got hindsight powers, let me abuse ‘em
I can see how the anger formed, made the illusion
I’ve been tearing up the house looking for a solution
All I find is flat pennies so I can’t even use ‘em
Staring at the future from the balcony, it’s staring back
Tryna piece together what I’m seeing as it fades to black
Waves will keep on crashing when I’m gone, ain’t no changing that
But I can’t control it so I have to pray to take me back
Striving for the time before the universe done betrayed me bad
Back when all I had to do was hold on to that paper bag
Only if I knew what were to follow, every changing path
Now all I have the strength to do is hold on to that paper bag

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