Labyrinth of Chaos and Order

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Deceiver of the Blind

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Mother do you remember a child's innocence? 
My heart keeps on longing
The beauty of ignorance

Do you remember? 
When you thought your baby had died?
These scars 
Remind me that the past was real

Mother I've grown wise
Far beyond my years 
But I've never felt so alone

Like a tight rope walker
At risk of self-destruction 
Everyday lived is a battle won 
But I feel any day 
I could lose the inner war
And end it all 
Burn it down
By my own hands
In the eye of the hurricane 
Peace never lasts 

I'm glad you never saw what's behind 
These sad, cold eyes
Just may shock you 
Behind a masquerade  
You will find genius 
On the brink of insanity 

Now my gifts have become my curse
I've seen the world for what it is really worth
It brings me to tears
To know how the story will end 
How everything ends

Mother I wish I could tell you I were Ok
But how could you understand?
I'll never forget
How you weren't there 
In my darkest hour
In my time of dire need
I cried for help, but your ears went deaf 
Afterall, I understand 
You couldn't comprehend

Can't find the final ember
So, I stumble into darkness 

Can't seem to find who my real friends are 
Not a woman to love

Desire to speak makes me empty 
I'm young yet I'm old 
Like I don't belong in this period of time

I'm lost in a Heaven
With my lips shut and sealed 
So much love to give 
But no one to give to
I can't seem to trust others 
So, I guard my heart around walls of stone

Loyalty has blinded me and betrayed me
And yet I've reached beyond
Stood beside by my virtues

Mother, I'm cold
This life has frozen my heart
And yet I don't need drugs to warm me
My blessings have become my prison
And I their prisoner 

Without an echo my voice is lost in time
How they'll remember me 
My legacy 
My history 
All concealed in plain sight

Naked I stand 
Before the whole world
Without regret
Without a care of ridicule 

And even though 
I may look OK in the outside 
I have to confess
Mother I confess to you! 
I'm broken, I'm shattered! 
I feel like a labyrinth of chaos! 
Of chaos and order!

But the sacrifices you made for me 
Carry me through the storm
And I will justify the pain 
Carry, carry my cross 
And wait for the final blow

You brought me 
Into this world in your loving arms 
But alone I know I will go out of it
And that's OK, I accept what I am

The inner chaos makes me numb 
But the blood of the struggle and crawling 
Is enough to fill my heart

Mother I remember 
Yes, I remember
Your love 
The comfort
The strength and the safety  
As a child that it once gave me
It still carries me through the hurricane 

I still wish that heaven were real
Just in the way you used to describe it 
Just so I could see you once again

Mother! I am all I have now!
I chose it my way 
I will travel the world 
Just like I always wanted 
No, I won't look back 
Won't look back 
Won't look back 
Won't become 
What they want me to be

Mother I know I will be okay!
Please don't worry about me

I will sail away
Through the 7 seas
See every wonder
Climb every mountain 
Like I always wanted 

I will take thousands of pictures 
Like I used to do 
And upon reaching 
The highest mountain in Appenzell
I will finally close my eyes 
Close my eyes 
And finally rest 
Until we meet again Mother

Well mom 
It's a beautiful day to finally say goodbye 
And I wish you were here to see it 
Until we meet again mother

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