Father in Smoke

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Tbhonest

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So many broken men
So many broken women
Plagued by the absence of a father
Who knew life would be that much harder? 

Mum works her ass off to provide 
And fill the gap 
And Lord knows I'm grateful 
Because she never took no crap. From him

Yeah, she made dude call
To make it seem like he cared
Never talked bad about him 
Because she didn't want my perception of him to be impaired

So selfless, so true
For a person so helpless, so cruel
So many broken promises 
Lead to his reputation being tarnished, shit

Looking for love 
In all the wrong men
No father figure to look up to 
Not even my own kin

That shit cut deeper 
Then a woman scorned
Because how am I to grow through life with one parent? 
That's literally leaving me torn

Can't believe this pain 
Won't leave but I gotta get this out

You wasn't there to talk about my first kiss
You wasn't there to see me ball
You wasn't there to give me tips
You wasn't there when I got that call

To New Orleans to play for the Saints
You wasn't there when I lost my Sun
You wasn't there when I needed you
Never there when I wanted you

See Imma blacc man in Amerikkka
Who still needs guidance

I look for that on YouTube or the books I'm reading
There's a misconception about a child with no father I'm seeing. 
It's more than presents on my birthday
Or any type of money

You were supposed to show me the way
Be at my football games cheering in the crowd 
Like "hey, that's my boy!" 
Damn! What I would have paid for that

Seeing my teammates brothers and dads at the games with their jerseys on
Only made me feel low
But my Mum was right there with my granny a
And Tyuana and they had my jersey on!

I'm not writing this to diss you, I'm merely speaking my reality
I'm proud to let you know I'm 28 years old 
And didn't become no casualty to gun violence nor do drugs
I have four daughters who I avidly give hugs

Nah they won't go through life 
Not feeling their fathers love

I'm an innovator, a poet, activist, and author
Who would ever imagine being all this with no father? 

My mum held me down since I was formed in her womb
Not even crazy that I can't say the same about you

Honest

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