Memoirs of a Shadow

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Thisisntwarhead

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I opened my eyes passed 25 thought I could be dead
Wrote the letter, sealed the envelope
Hands unsteadily gripping each side
This is what the contents read

You're greater than they'd like you to believe
Efforts won't go unnoticed despite how things appear to be

You'll only get better with time 
So allow yourself to develop
Delve into the furthest recesses of mind
Life's a whirlwind so don't live it as a blur

Take it from the one who's lived that way since rebirth 
Truth spurts discomfort 
Don't be the one to run first
Don't be, don't be the one to run first

And I never knew, that life could be 
Life could be
And I never knew

I've seen people come, I've seen people go
I've seen people look at me like I was never known
Shame losing friends, in the end, I still grip a pen
Treat it like a ligament or the digits that hold it

Hold it, is this really hopeless, oh shit
Another opus to steer your focus
Most definitely,
Most discredited written off emcee is me
They say to switch it up
But they don't know what's what
I aim to displease, disengage to prevent seizures
Don't be eager to be a leader of a pack of fools
Treat em like dirt beneath cuticles
Don't lose sleep, over the words bafoons speak 
Cause they leak like punctured oil drums
I like to hum until their bullshit dissipates
Illustrate ways to make the earthquake
I treat fate like a foes face

And I never knew that life can be
Life can be
And I never knew

Socialize with the social lies embedded in the mind's eye
I've had more than nine lives
Gave myself strong palms to the jawline
Sat and laughed as moms cried
Voices grew louder with the fall of daylight
Days don't seem as bright, love lost its subtle vibrance
No longer able to enjoy the calm of silence
Eyelids flutter like the handles of a balisong
Battle demonic thoughts all night long 
Until I've gone off the deep end
Never depend on those who've deepened your afflictions
Never depend on those who've deepened your afflictions

And I never knew
And I never knew

Peep it,
High before I've even eaten
Mama would be seething at her firstborn teeming with anxiety
The public is not seeing, concealed hidden for safe keeping 
Who's keeping watch
Look at the dials wind themselves on the clock
Nonstop countdown to extinction
Observe the self
Erode, impairment leads to lack of self control
Ingest what's left in the bottle until we're equally hollow
Do not follow the path upon which I've tread
If you lack my will
You're bound for a dead end road
Tiptoeing on the top of a totem pole
Total goals equate to zero plus one million stored
Came to settle a score and established fifty more
Internal war
Internal wars

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