The Bum and Poo Song

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Phil Dye

3:45

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Now I sometimes go up to my daughter Michaela's school
And sing to her class
And they're all about seven years old
And I'd been doing it for about three or four months
And I noticed that the kids were looking a bit bored
They were fiddling around and wanted to get up and walk about
And on the way home in the car Michaela was with her friend
And I said "What songs can we sing that you'd be interested in?
Any special songs you'd like to hear?"
And they started giggling and when they got back
They said they were going to write out some words
That they wanted to hear in songs that would make them interested in the classroom
Then they presented me with this list
And um, you'll get the idea from the chorus
And here's the chorus

Cause it's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
And a snot and a spit and a sick and a boob
Fart and a stink and a nits and worms and a wee
It's a wedgie and a vomit, bottom and a snot
Stuff between your toes that tastes like rot
Burp and a boogie and a fart and a poo and a wee

It's like that all the way through really
Here's the first verse

It's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
Give us a song that's naughty and silly
We're tired of clapping our hands when we're happy dad
Well the Wiggles are fine but they're so damn clean
They're just a lonely mother's dream
What they do with Dorothy is anyone's guess

Cause it's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
And a snot and a spit and a sick and a boob
Fart and a stink and a nits and worms and a wee
It's a wedgie and a vomit, bottom and a snot
Stuff between your toes that tastes like rot
Burp and a boogie and a fart and a poo and a wee

Well Playschool's good but the songs are twee
Never heard a poo or a wee
Looking through the windows so drab
And Humphrey he's so big and fat
We know he farts but we never hear that
And Monica we think she's got ADD

Cause it's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
And a snot and a spit and a sick and a boob
Fart and a stink and a nits and worms and a wee
It's a wedgie and a vomit, bottom and a snot
Stuff between your toes that tastes like rot
Burp and a boogie and a fart and a poo and a wee

Well this old man he played one 
We feel so stupid saying drum
Rhyming shoe with two is a waste of time
And the kookaburra sitting in the old gum tree
He was just having a poo and a wee
But he had a very gay life and that's OK!

Cause it's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
And a snot and a spit and a sick and a boob
Fart and a stink and a nits and worms and a wee
It's a wedgie and a vomit, bottom and a snot
Stuff between your toes that tastes like rot
Burp and a boogie and a fart and a poo and a wee

Well now we've got a song that's real
One that says just how we feel
Using words we love to say all day

And Mrs Turner she'd have a fit
If she ever heard of it
But we'll sing it in the playground anyway

Cause it's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
And a snot and a spit and a sick and a boob
Fart and a stink and a nits and worms and a wee
It's a wedgie and a vomit, bottom and a snot
Stuff between your toes that tastes like rot
Burp and a boogie and a fart and a poo and a wee

It's a bum and a poo and a wee and a willy
And a snot and a spit and a sick and a boob
Fart and a stink and a nits and worms and a wee
It's a wedgie and a vomit, bottom and a snot
Stuff between your toes that tastes like rot
Burp and a boogie and a fart and a poo and a wee

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