Nocna Mora

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I just want people to like me
All I ever wanted was acceptance
All they ever did was make me feel vulnerable
All I am is....

Just a kid who had a dream
Climb these ladders, earn them streams
Make the people jump and scream
And chant his name, the grass is green
The sky is blue, he's in a good place
Paradise, his mental state
Is calm and peaceful, he has no pain
He's calm and peaceful, a happy day

F*ck that, he wakes up every day in the morning
Eyes so wet, feels like he's mourning
The death of his dreams, someone took the glory
Someone took his innocence, they weren't sorry
No apologies, he hears the screams
He hears the chants, it ain't what it seems
Cries for help from people unseen
It's all in his head, he paints a scene
In black and white and red and gray
Mixed emotions kept at bay
A colorful picture splashed in his eyes
He's blinded by the honor and fame
No one told him life is a struggle
Climbing ain't as easy as does it
It ain't just putting an arm and a leg
It means you lose your mind in the puddle
Breaking pieces of yourself
Then selling them one by one for the trend
Your self-esteem isn't worth a dime
But naked pictures flood the gram
That's what the world wants to fucking see
The deepest, scared off version of me
The person I protect from all these eyes
The person my mind will never free
The one abused for being so kind
For caring for others over mine
That person who cries in his sleep
And wakes up every day with a smile on his cheeks
That's the man who holds the key 
To my pride and joy, he'll never reveal
The way to his heart, the gates are shut
Padlocked, chained, the doors are sealed
This is my life, in these 4 walls
Trapped myself in an endless loop of
Trying to impress everyone in my group or
Trying to fit in with the people that I call
My second family, filled with insanity
I think I'll lose my soul to this vanity
Think I'll lose myself erratically
I want to stop thinking, I feel so panicky
Just want to breathe with a clear damn mind
Stop trying to seek, stop trying to find
A meaning for everything, just live a lie
Even if it's hard to deny
It's better than the bittersweet truth that I face
Better than being called a disgrace
Oh God, help me end this phase
It's just the start, don't lead me astray

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