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Rik Jaco Jansen

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Back at me, Back at me, Back at me
Back at me, Back at me, Back at me
Back at me
All this time I have been searching
To pretend that’s what I’ll be
Is this whatever supposed to be
My own fuckin’ dream?
I can not believe my eyes
My own mind is betraying me
Is this what the future’s gonna be
My own fantasy
No
Why do I chase another lie? If I would,
Enable myself to snort a line?
Cause I just crossed the line in the sand
There’s no time for consent
Cuz my mind has just broken the geneva convention of crime
I just need a confession of mine
To pretend I’ll beat-up my depression this time
That has been feeding inside for a while
Sowing the seeds of denial
Making me suicidal
So I cannot see what vile things I’m gonna do
My guile has proven to work a mile and a half over
Get arrested, f*ck up the trial and get blasted on
Live Oprah, winning the hearts and minds
So I’ll find myself free as soon as I
Can over
All this time I have been searching
To pretend that’s what I’ll be
Is this whatever supposed to be
My own fuckin’ dream?
I can not believe my eyes
Cause my own mind is betraying me
Is this what the future’s gonna be
My own fantasy
No
I cannot stress this enough
Don’t wanna flex or test this at all
But I can’t pretend that this is not a
Massive pressing problem going on
This is a fuckin’ debacle
Witnesses are dead on arrival
My fists are bleeding and sore
And I’m seein’ red so it must be my fault
I’ve tried to fight them all so far
This calls for a goddamn rifle
So I can line-up the members of this mock trial
And have some shots fired
My will has been eliminated
By my own fear that has culminated
From the standstill persisted to this day and
There is nothin’ goin’ on
I try so hard but I just cannot move on
So what do you do when you’re stuck in your head
Do you just keep existing till you end up dead?
Oh
There is no light at all
It has been day but I just cannot move along
So what do you do when you're stuck in your head
And when you're closed until further notice
Why do I chase another lie?
Why do I mind?
Why do I keep questioning myself all the time?
It’s my perfectionism that blinds my eyes from reality
So I can never reach the prize I desire
This fallacy is wading through a mire
Of false promises and fires
That ignite my soul alight
Until I act on my desires
Playing with my mind until it is broken and tired
And blaming it on myself cause I can’t fix what I hurt
There is nothin’ goin’ on
I try so hard but I cannot move on
So what do you do when you’re stuck in your head
Do you just keep existing till you end up

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