Drunk Shark

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Trauma Cat

3:15

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Went down to the public pier
Went down with a cooler of beer
Got a text from my best friend Joe
Saying he can’t make it no more
Oh, no! Not Joe!
So I poured one out in the sea
I’ll be my own damn drinking buddy
But then a fin emerged from the dark
Something started drinking my PBR
Oh, no! It’s a shark!
Drunk Shark!
Made a habit every Tuesday night
Of downing brews with my favorite great white
Five or six turned to seven or eight
Hunting is hard when you can’t see straight
Oh, no! We’re drunk!
One day we were really buzzed
When the all-girl swim team started swimming at us
I wanted love, and he wanted food
But we were too fucked up to make any moves
Oh, no! Drunk Shark!
White Claw!
After summer it got all cold
He went to Florida to prey on the old
I stayed in town, started drinking indoors
Thought of Drunk Shark with every Molson and Coors
Oh, no! Indoors?!
Next summer I was out on the pier
Sitting there alone with my cooler of beer
I heard a splash and looked down below
Drunk Shark’s back and down to party for sure!
F*ck yeah! Drunk Shark!
Drunk Shark!
Drunk Shark!
Drunk Shark!

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