Cult Leader

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Carl Christensen

3:20

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Well I rolled out of bed and I checked my phone it was the weekly end of the world 
And so I called my friend with several acres of land and said 
Let's start a cult my man
He said Carl, you must be out your god damn mind. 
There's no way we convince people that we're divine
You've had ego issues in the past my friend but you've out done yourself this time

But don't it sound nice to have 17 wives 
And live of the land and have campfires every night
How hard could it really be to form a new society
Just wave your hands and say we got what you need

He said Carl you might have me convinced you are quite well known for your Charismatic-ness and our organization could be quite amazing
What's the worst that could come of this
So I put some adds up on some websites Are you searching for a deeper purpose in life
And if every single just feels so mundane I can make all of that change
We grow our own food out in the garden, and we host group yoga every morning 
So just take the night to open your third eye and we think you'll fit in just fine
You're so special and we all care about you but there's one or two things 
You're gonna need to prove
We need loyalty of the highest degree speaking strictly financially

But don't it sound great to live free of hate
Just come with us your happiness awaits
Join our tribe we promise you'll thrive and we think you'll fine it's well worth the fine

We'd been growing our numbers for six months or so, then I got a call on the telephone And I could not believe who was speaking to me, it was the U.S military 
They said, sir, we've been watching you and we are quite impressed
Your people sign away their lives without a second guess 
And if you care to share some tips of the trade name your price and it'll get paid
I said, It's not complex, I'm sure you'll agree nobodies problems in life 
Are really all that unique, so just say you can make the problems go away 
And keep the details vague 

Yeah make it sound like you can fix their lives 
And all you need are their initials on the dotted line
Just give them something to believe a purpose or cause they can follow blindly
 
So when you're starting a cult confusion is your friend
That might sound evil but its just a means to an end
Yeah, play your cards close to the table and you could end up with a thriving cult

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