Sometimes I Feel I Lost My Faith

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My attributes been growing daily
Tryna max it out
I thought you was tryna save me
Now I'm casted out
In a essence all my blessings stop the faster route
I can't caress my soul affection really tap it out

Why can't you
Hold on me
I need you
All on me
You leave me 
So lonely
Don't leave me
No I need
All this history
And all these Memories
Sometimes I
Wish they'd leave
But they stay
On repeat

The weather cold I know
Does that control how your emotions row
It took a turn but we still on this road
I know you leaped but is that cause you told
You told me you could never seek within forgiveness
I uplift with your permission
I won't forget the true condition
Put that key up in ignition 
Fire started when I vented
Should've stopped before the lynching
Emotions hanging from ascension
My life devoted to convention
Some things I quote without extension
Should've voiced my full opinion
I can't focus on forgetting
But this time is not suspending
All these thoughts of your tremendous
Treatment towards me apprehended
All my reasons I invented
My corruption I admit it sorry
Try to seek the vision
Actions inconsistent
I know it's hard for you but
Brother please just listen
Sometimes I forget it
Life can be acidic
I share hearts with you so
Let's complete the mission.
Bro he got me tatted so I can't forget him
Sometimes he be doing dumb things
Make me want to hit him
But this blood is thicker than a forest made of venom
I remember waking up just trying to find some dinner
So he cooked me up some meals now we call that a winner
Every time he used to go away I always missed him
And our love is not the same that's why I hate the system
He's someone I see as strong
A heart that's full of denim
Sometimes we bend no folding
I just hope you notice
I work hard everyday
To get us out this ocean
Drown inside this erosion
But we can't be hopeless
Cause if we gonna make it
We going to need that focus
But what do we focus on if we don't know the options to make
I know that we grow upon the failures and the obstacles shape
The way that we tower over barricades that topple our faith
One day we'll be up on a journey that'll crop us in place
I know that you know that I'll never go so voiceless
That all of the world will see me more than as a person
I won't be specific but Ima be a different version
I know deep inside my moma struggling and it's hurting

So won't you
Hold on me
I need you
All on me
You leave me
So lonely
Don't leave me
No I see
The way you
Act with me
I love you
Practically
Y'all really
Are my heart
I don't know
Where to start

It's just I lay low
Laila you are
So beautiful you star
You will go oh so far
My halo in a jar
Joi know that I love you
It's the love in unconditional ways
Put no one above you
Trust the bond is something no one can change
I know I don't vent the way I used to when I'm going through pain
It's just that I feel like a burden cause we all got our thing

Sometimes I feel I lost my faith
She was imperious
We both was experienced in relationships
So we'd talk every night and day
Over the time
She was calling me bae
So we was at a different stage
My whole life
Was on a different page
She was my guidance, my righteous
So every days' night it was more than just vibing
It came to a time
To when we had had our first kiss
Upon the best of any wish
She raised her head than glimmered
I grinned at the glisten
Could see every pore in her pigment
I got a little closer no distance
Our lips had connected no friction
Than we had our intermission
Hey baby
I'm not trying to sound mean or nothing
I got feelings for you that's more than just something
But I think that we going a little too fast and we should slow down
I didn't want you to spaz
So I'm letting you know now
I hope you understand
Owe alright
After a month go by
She showed me why
With another guy
Real hard to apply
My time at a standstill
But their time is long
As they change each other ring tones and sing songs
I wanted to figure where I went wrong but I left her alone
Happy home isolated
I'm aggravated
Wanting my feelings amputated
And castrated
But they stuck to me like all my bad luck
I'm bleeding
Trust is deceiving
They feeding me deceptive pieces
Collective breathing
Turned to a dream of a feind
The only one I needed
Corrupted dreams
Seeing how she leave
I was emasculated
Like we both were assassinated
No Kennedy
The remedy
Is that you act like you don't even remember me
So begging and pleading is not in the mention
I'm having suicidal intentions
I wish I could have years more than just your attention
We used to be in a different dimension than everyone else
Now you left me alone in the desert of dust
You changed me so I have no trust
I'm stained in the back of the bus
With no lights
No sound
Just a pound of reluctance
I'm willing to do nothing
With the police
I'm just bucking no ducking
My black life don't matter you showed me that
So if I spaz and my brains splatter don't hold me back
You love me
You told me that
Hmph I love you too

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