Clusterfuckcatastrophe

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Brian Barlowe

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Meine Damen und Herren y'all, dearly beloved, Schnuckiputzi, frenemies
We're contagious and thirsty, damn, tipping graciously 'cuz we're all going to croak
Buddy how 'bout a toke? Fifila, my sack is full to the brim
Find me a bucket and simsalabim

You say you'd like a peep into my bang-bang box
But you see this wily fox, he keeps his hammer cocked
You can tell by the way the keys are chipped
I like to bite, and do it with these two fists

I'm the scoundrel, I'm the raconteur, I'm the scholar of the force majeure
I'm the heathen toasting blasphemy, come taste my alchemy, I call it clusterfuckcatastrophe

Hold up doc, no one here wants to suck that carrot
Raise a glass, I'm the soggiest of every sot
Sun up, sun down for our moldy daily wage
We shovel their coal and they roll us into our graves

I'm the redneck, I'm the scallywag, I banged the drum there at Leningrad - За здоровье!
I'm the villain, I'm the travesty, I ran the road into a clusterfuckcatastrophe

Voilà the black mass, voilà the pain of birth, voilà Pro patria mori, voilà the sacred curse   
The caprice of men lays us all to waste. Step right up, all you drunks and skanks

So I'm the old bag, I'm the ash rag, wiping out the blood of Eve and Adam
La Voisin of gay Paris, the lilen hoard of clusterfuckcatastrophes

Momma told me one cold truth
"An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
"No son of mine ever asked to be born," she says
"and no man who takes revenge for that ever mourns"

I'm the savant, Judas Iscariot, Alexander making scraps of knots
I'm the profligate, clowning priests and kings. I call your joie de vivre a clusterfuckcatastrophe

Was für eine Nacht, up the rear of the avant garde
No one need get their knickers in a wad. In the end, friends all applaud
So for now, Au revoir. May Baba Yaga keep you from the cops
Life's a dream that all goes to pot. My god, Flitzekacke

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