Cultural Intoxication

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Lizzie Loch

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I've never really been interested in alcohol
Although, for many years I was  
Intoxicated
By culture 

TV 
Hollywood...

The allure was strong 
My emotions were pulled on 
I was enticed by the tonic of culture... 

I drank it
Smoothly...
Bit by bit

Drowning my souls truth
In cultural
Programs and ideals 
Of popularity 
Body
Identity 
Sexuality 

It was 
Fabulously 
And
Brutally harming 
Me

But this cosmopolitan tonic was so good
I loved the sweet taste, the sugar had me 
Coming back for more

I drank the lyrics of pop idols
I grooved, inspired by their lives

Not knowing I was programming my mind...
You could say 
"I got lost in the game"
"Oops I did it again" 
It was ok though because
"Life in plastic, it's fantastic" 
I allowed myself to be an object 
"Oh baby, baby" 
It's was ok though cuz...
"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" 

And then the
Blurred lines 
That led to #metoo 

But the lines were blurred because, I was told
"I'm a slave for you..." 
I just wanted connection and I heard...
"They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute"
And 
"Girl you look good won't you back that ass up"
"Knock that pussy out, yeah get them
Out yeah" 

All my brothers were drinking shots of violence toward women so I accepted that as "That's just how guys are..."

My societal worth became attached to me being an object, right, cuz...
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" 

Those drinks were so good
I was so drunk that I didn't even realize I was 
"Chained to the rhythm" 

My inner voice became harder to hear
I thought I was listening to myself and my purpose
But I was sometimes just in the cycle of what had been programmed 
Into my brain from the tonic of popular culture
It was ok though, right? 

Because everyone was doing it...

I had to learn to get sober 
I had to deprogram 
I had to get clean 
AA 
Came to me 
Absolute Authenticity 
Was my new drink 

I fell in love with purity
Could no longer be pulled by empty scenes on the screen 
I couldn't drink that drink 
I could no longer sip on violence and throw it up on the ones I loved
That was not who I wanted to be 
So I gave it up 

I've been sober for a while now
And sometimes I feel like a baby 
When the only tv I want to consume is Winnie the Pooh movie or Planet earth 
And the only music I want to hear is 432 hz 
Except for one pop queen... I admit 
Lizzo, I love her, for her stance makes me
Dance in so many ways...

I used to crave the drunkenness of TV dramas and empty songs
But now I crave the beauty of pristine scenes
And rhythms that make my cells dance in the knowing that they are alive

Yes

That is what I want to fill my cup with
That is the drink I want to drink for myself and share with all of humanity

So I have retired the popular ways
And moved into a much much better day

And don't get me wrong
When Brittany blasts on the radio I will most likely still sing a long... happily nostalgic... 

For in my awareness, I am free
To enjoy, and choose, knowingly

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