break ups and break downs

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Eve Christina

3:55

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I can’t stop writing all my feelings down
It keeps me busy when you’re not around
But i can’t help reread until i want to tear them out
All my emotions overcome with doubt
Maybe it comes from all the ones before
I think they had a bet on who could hurt me more
And i’m not used to not being used
You make me feel secure
Watch me self sabotage and shut the door
So long i’ve been wondering if i’ll always stay the same
I want to let you love me but i’m terrified of change
I’m scared of breaking up and scared of breaking down
Scared of my friends asking why i’m never around
I’m independent but still feel alone
Don’t want to fall in love if i’ve still got to grow
I’m scared of hurting people like people hurt me
Scared of forcing something that just isn’t meant to be
Don’t want to lose control
Give up my heart and soul
Don’t want another person to feel whole
Can’t comprehend the fact that you’re still here
I’m still expecting you to up and disappear
Cause i know i can be selfish, bitter and jealous
But you love me still the same
It’s so foreign knowing you’re gonna stay
You bring out a side of me that no ones ever seen
I want to let you love me but i’m too scared that you’ll leave
And i’m scared of breaking up and scared of breaking down
Scared of my friends asking why i’m never around
I’m independent but i still feel so alone
Don’t want to fall in love if i’ve still got to grow
I’m scared of hurting people like people hurt me
Scared of forcing something that just isn’t meant to be
Don’t want to lose control
Give up my heart and soul
Don’t want another person to
Feel like i’m like special and like i’m loved
Like i always be enough
How i can feel that?
I just want feel that
Without somebody by my side
Telling me the reasons why
I been struggling
To let somebody in
Incase i lose myself

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