My Bike, it Only Has Five Gears

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Croydon Tourist Office

12:53

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I used to think that life was like Holland
Flat
Dull
And suspiciously bereft of those
Ludicrous windmills that people keep going on about
And just when you're getting somewhere interesting
You realise you're in Belgium
I used to think that life was like that

Not long ago I looked in the mirror
And I saw a glimpse of my grandfather
And also my nephew in my own face
This was somewhat disconcerting

The mirror was behind a bar in a pub at the time
And I was checking to see if there were any blackcurrant J2Os
And I thought to myself
Well here I am then
Living life
And in a moment I'm going to sit down with my friends Anne and Mark and Steven
And I'm not even going to remember this little episode I'm having right now

As I write this
The clock is ticking
And the world is turning
And my heart is beating
And everything seems replete with rhythm
Even this part of the poem

And pretty soon I'll forget even writing this
This
This word here
Theis very word
This one
Now

In a way
We're all heading for Belgium
And more of us are not going to see any of the windmills
But we might as well live life
So that's it
That's my advice
Just to live
It's literally
The least you can do

Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
Coming far from your land
It's fine till you meet them all
I'm Coming far from your land
Going to rise from my time
It's fine to stand on your ground now

Pull up a chair Philip Larkin
Help yourself to some cheese and onion hula hoops
Stop frowning
I won't hurt you

Tell me Philip Larkin
Is it true you couldn't work out how to use the self service machine at Tescos
Or that you lost your glasses while jumping on an inflatable bouncy castle
Help yourself to a fondant fancy

Oh Philip Larkin
You look so glum when I suggested we go clubbing
And then when we got there
You shocked everyone by asking for a cup of tea at the bar
That reminds me
Shall I put the kettle on

How did it go last night by the way
Taking on the Americans in an impromptu tug of war
You and WH Auden and Christopher Isherwood versus the beats
Kerouac Ginsburg Burroughs 
Trounced you say
You let go of the rope to pick up a 50p coin
And Alan Bennet called you a knob
He's got a point

Is it true Philip Larkin
That you stayed up late last night
To watch Wrestle Mania
Would you like a jam tart Philip Larkin'
Would you
Would you
Would you really really

Is it true that when you met Princess Anne
You sneezed all over her
I'm sorry
I didn't know you were allergic to horses

Is it also true that you put stones on the railway lines
To see what happened when the fast train came through
But you got arrested by the transport police

Is it also true that you fancy Suh Suh Suh
Sarah Palin

Well we all must meet again sometime
This was nice
You
You've got a bit of something just
Just there
That's it
No no
To the left
No
Never mind

Tribal land
Tribal lands are the past
Your ancestors are fine
Tribal lands are the past
Your ancestors are fine
Anthropology has told you the truth
As it told you many many times
The true history of your nature
Nature

Tribal times are the past combined
They're yours
They're ours
They're fine
But history is a lie
And we know it's true
Anthropology told you

Delay delay the time where we
Played with the children of the tribesmen
Of the tribesmen
Of the tribesmen
Delay her time where we played
With the children
Of the tribesmen
Delay the time where we
Played with the children
Of the tribesmen
Of the tribesmen
Delay the time when we played with the children
Of the tribesmen
Of the tribesmen
It's a modern world
A modern world

Delay delay delay
Your companion
Blessings beside
Many loves
Many tribes
Before in your
The beige falls in the canyon
Lit up to the sky
We live below
With the children
We keep them safe
From those high walls
We're trapped inside

My bike it's only got five gears
I'm a child
I'm eight
There's a canyon
In my world
I'm riding my bike
It's only got five gears
But I can go fast as I want
Fast as I want

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer