Some Things I Might Do, Being So Happy

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Croydon Tourist Office

5:59

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I feel so happy since you came along
I feel I could laugh myself senseless
Like a duck
I feel I could climb up sixteen flights of stairs just to bake
A souffle 
I fee so happy since you came along

I feel so wonderful since the day you arrived
I feel I could graduate from the university of Plop
I feel I could make moussaka for the Vikings 
I feel I could update my Facebook profile's status
With the non-existent word
Boojizzlewah
I feel so wonderful since the day you arrived

I feel so incredibly brilliant since you held my hand
I feel I could tap dance for the Bulgarians wearing a hat made from Velcro
I feel I could wolf whistle at robots
I feel I could hold a relatively decent conversation with TV's Joe Pasquale
I feel I could listen to a whole album by Morrissey and still come out grinning
I feel so incredibly brilliant since you held my hand

I feel so unaccountably delirious since the moment you told me you loved me
I feel I could watch a whole football match without once taking a book to read
I feel I could draw a likeness of Home Secretary Theresa May on an Etch-a-Sketch
I feel I could Zumba
I feel I could rap like Eminem or Jay Zed or 50p
I feel I could outrun a badger
I feel I could help a friend move house and then
When we got to his new house
I feel I could then paint his skirting boards

I feel I could whisk Emma Louise Bullions off her feet
And then tap dance with her into the small hours
And then go to the roller disco and then buy her an ice cream
I feel I could get down on one knee and proclaim my everlasting desire to
Toya Harvey
I feel I could phone my boss and say
Ppbbbtt

I feel I could just be like the man in the couple 
That I saw this morning where the man said to his wife
You know what Hilda
We've been together exactly forty eight years
I remember it clearly
The stars were out and there was a touch of frost in the air
And it seems that the whole world was humming with innate possibility
And that this
All this was what my whole life was building up to
This glorious wonderful union you
The girl of my dreams
Even after all these years
To which the woman replied
You know what Douglas
I didn't catch a word of that

I feel I could go out and get rat arsed
I feel I could perform an oil change on a 1963 Ford Anglia
I feel I could play poker with a monster
I feel I could wear a flat cap
I feel I could buy a backpack
I feel I could eat a flapjack
I feel I could ask for my ball back
I feel I could put up some shelves that are flat packed

I feel I could crouch
I feel I could spin
I feel I could jimmy
I feel I could shimmer
I feel I could jitterbug
I feel I could stamp
I feel I could yell
I feel I could holler
I feel like I could gyrate

I feel I could hang there with the absolute thrumming wonderous burning temptive Quivering euphoric oh so magnificent if ever so slightly magical energy of your existence
I feel I could grab the world by the scruff of the neck and give it a good old fashioned Bugs Bunny smacker on the lips
I feel so unaccountably delirious since the moment you told me you loved me

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