My Daughter at Ten

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Jonathan Daniel Potter

6:11

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My daughter was born at the edge of day
When autumn's equinox was a distant 
Memory, the days in our northern town
Narrowing down like light through a keyhole
Her mother and I praying for that light
To shine in our dawning daughter's heart that
First day, praying for wisdom to show her
You-the way to open the door and let
The light flood in to fill the room of her
Life with the light there waiting in her eyes

We brought you home, uncertain of how to
Love you with the love that overwhelmed us
How to protect you from our own mistakes
And the mistakes of others everywhere
That swirl round Earth's atmosphere unaware
Of fragile just-born beings lying there
Asleep, soft, smelling of springtime dewdrops
Moon petals, sunbeam sweet pea barley tea
How to keep you safe from danger but not
Safe from love, not safe from every good thing

Some time passed, the sun and the moon sped by
Birds flew, dogs barked in their turn, words upon
Words piled up all around you, wooden blocks
Formed into towers to tumble, we moved
To a new house, bigger, with a big yard
Grandparents kept watch in their turn, new friends
Appeared, new places were tried, names turned over
On lips and tongue with laughter and cries of
Joy and dismay, aunts, uncles, and cousins
Walks in the park, everything happening

You were as precocious as the sunrise
Singing and speaking, running and walking
In and out of everything, your mind a
Light, your eyes open, your heart burning flames
Made of music and color, and yes, you
Gave us some trouble, too, we not always
Able to contain the spilling over 
Urgency of wonder you couldn't stop
And then your sister was born and you were
The guide to her light, the sister teacher

Preschool, Kindergarten, teachers smiling
Into your light, letting their warmth and yours
Merge in moments of time, good friends and best
Friends concocting adventures on the spot
Scooters, skinned knees, nature walks, collecting
Pinecones, leaves, bugs, rocks, slugs, crawdads, fairies
You learned by going, learned to ride a bike
First on a grassy slope, then on a broad
Expanse of flat asphalt near an ice cream
Shop, and finally on sidewalks and streets

You paved the world in reams of paper drawn
With pen and ink, pencil and paint, light and dark
Imagined things drawn from the world and made
New by the newness of you, you sang songs
Made out of the same intricate dream stuff
And carried on dramatic productions
Star-crossed narratives, comedic word play
And I looked at you and your sister in
The rearview mirror, wondering at all
The mystery let loose within your souls

The uniform you wore you wore so well
Back then, not for uniformity's sake
But for the sake of style and tradition
For the way the light shown on the fabric
The way a kind of music played across
The pattern, especially when you sang
In the bleak midwinter, poor as I am
What can I give him, give to him my heart
When you sang that in the Cathedral with
All of heaven's angels pausing to hear

Earth stood hard as iron then, but summer
Softened the world and warmed the changing time
With a view of the strong flowing river
Where it came down from the falls past children
Playing, you and your new and old friends there
And then a new school, new teachers, new light
On old thoughts growing and changing, looking
Past the past to see continuity
In all things, past the future to see the 
Present moment resting there in your heart

That moment of rest is there inside you
Always and forever for you to hold
Steady when you need to and you will find
A river of light flows through in full and
Bursting life and love, love of mother, love
Of father, sister, grandparents, cousins
Aunts and uncles, friends and teachers, angels
Saints, and God the source and fountain of love
The love that there is no hiding from, the 
Love that will never ever leave your side

I am writing this on the eve of your 
Tenth birthday and I cannot find the words
To say how much you mean to me, Holland
To say how I am still as overwhelmed
As the day you were born, still overwhelmed
With love for you, still blinking in the light 
Of you, still drinking in the mystery
And the majesty of you, and praying 
For the wisdom to know how to let you
Open your door and fill the world with light

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