Lies

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Damon Bass

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Yeah
I think I'm finally figuring myself out
After all this time doubting myself now
I think I'm finally figuring myself out
I think I'm finally figuring myself out, yeah
I think I'm finally figuring myself out
Echoes of passions finally spreading out now
I think I'm finally figuring myself out
Yeah... yeah, yeah
I think I finally figured out what I want
Dreams of making music always persuaded me
Used to play around on the keyboard just meddling with melodies
All of the possibilities unfolding upon me
Hanging around in the orchestra room during the summer
My teacher sitting on her chair while I get some volunteer work done
Sit down afterward near the piano and start improv-ing a track
She appeared from behind the desk with the sense that it appealed to her
"What song are you playing?" she says
Tell her it's just made up on the spot
And as I respond she has this look that appears she's got to let me know about something
The music theory class
I took it as a sort of embrace that she genuinely thought that it was an actual song
Not just some mumbled sounds, but a uniquely made recorded song
After I play her back some melodies she eagerly wants me to join the class
Told her at that time I'm not sure and I wanted to pass up the opportunity
But she wanted me to give it a chance
Couldn't believe that she believed in me and my skills
All the doubt over time made me hesitant but I was willing to try
So after summer time the kid with no lust for goals was persuaded with the bet on hold
And he decided to choose the class just to see how it would uphold
How it would uphold
As the year went on I became more intrigued with the idea of composition
Constantly working on some tracks would help ease my mind off of personal problems
Eventually the choir teacher got ahold of me and figured I'd fit right in with their subject
I objected at first, but eventually I joined and I surely did not regret it
I did not regret it... at all
I thought to myself that maybe I'll make something out of all of this
Some time went on and I met this girl from the choir class who I thought was the greatest
Same interests as myself, and had a good career in mind
In my mind she had the best smile and attitude out of all the women I'd met at the time
We started dating and fortunately I wasn't worrying too much on myself
In fact she helped motivate me to continue pursuing my goal in life
And said things that I surely thought were lies
That I thought were lies
But I rolled with it
Eventually I believed in those lies and thought we were perfect together
That nothing would stop us from prospering
That nothing would stop us from prospering
Two people with a goal planning to achieve them both
It seemed like the perfect combination
The perfect combination
The perfect combination
The perfect combination
Even when we took a trip to California I thought we'd be perfect together
But as we left we departed apart from each other
And as we came back she began to distance herself when eventually it happened
We broke up
I couldn't believe it
I was in shock
Car ride to a program had me silent the whole ride there
I was in denial
I was in denial
I started reminiscing all the good times we had
Much like the trip to California
Or flirting during our schools rendition of Annie
Or seeing a musical together where we both held hands
And I couldn't see at the moment what went wrong
Started thinking with logic like maybe she's too busy
Of course, of course
She had to juggle with dancing, singing, a personal business and a musical coming up
I kept thinking that was why
I just kept thinking that was why
I just kept thinking that must be why
But that's when my mind acted up saying
The absolute worst
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You are the worst person you have ever met
You're too clingy
You look horrendous
Why are you so fat
Unintelligible
You're undeserving of her attention
You're nothing
You won't ever achieve anything
You weren't good enough to even speak with her
Why did you think you had a shot with her
Why don't you just sit and do nothing like you used to
Why don't you just stop trying to impress her
You're not worth it
Then
An overwhelming rage grabbed my attention
I just wanted to give her my attention
And she decides to just throw the affection away
And pretend we weren't even a thing
Trying to avoid me even when we have to work together
And just showing immaturity in every interaction I have to have with her
During all of this I had a falling out with a friend of mine
Which then showed his true colors
And the anger escalated tenfold
I just wanted to shout at the top of my lungs
The effort I had put into fixing myself was deteriorating fast
And my emotions started affecting the mass of my actions
All the effort I had put into fixing myself was deteriorating fast
And I blindly kept looking at the moments I had with her in the past
I couldn't look past it and eventually the lies she told stacked up
Deception made me lash out feeling like an outcast, an outcast

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