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Les of a Human

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Honestly I don't know what to believe
Sick of living with my heart on my sleeve 
Wonder when it might start to beat
Wonder when I'm ever gonna fucking leave 
These feels behind, they belong in the past
But I can't stop cherishing the memories that we have
And 
They tell me to stop misbehaving
But all the girls in my dms are taken 
They tell me to stop hating
But my whole life I've felt like I've gone under appreciated
So I lost some, now I got nothing to lose
I proved myself, but they still want me to improve 
Everyone waiting for me to make my move
But I lied when I said I got nothing to lose
I'm a loser, there I said it myself
I'm the one who gets hurt and let's his emotions dwell
I'm the one who can take pain so everyone else can be happy
I sacrifice every day, it takes a toll, I'm not happy
I haven't been happy for the longest time
But I can't find the right rhythm or rhyme
To express how I feel, take it out of my mind
Who's heart gets broken? It's always mine
I fell in love I guess that was my mistake
I just want to go and feel numb to the pain
It's like all I can do is feel sad or hate
I know that I'll never be a main 
But f*ck that, I'll just make a name 
Have some fangirls that'll just go insane
While the only person on my mind is her
But I think I ruined that, and yeah it hurts 

But I had my chance; I fucking blew it
So I'll put all of my energy into my music
Maybe if I can get famous I can quit my job
Maybe I can get out of school or drop 
Maybe I can open up that restaurant
Maybe I can feel way less robbed
Of opportunity, this is still so new to me
My heart is cold, my fucking soul is weak
That's how I feel whenever you do this to me 
Even when it kills me, you do it all so beautifully

I'm ghost 
I'd love to say that I love you most
Wish I could edit this in post
I got nothing left to show
Nothing left to boast

I've loved and I've hated 
I'm longing and waiting
For you 
I'm hurt, I've been crying
I've smiled, I'm still trying 
For you
For you

They tell me to go fix my mistakes
For you
But I run from my problems every single day
They tell me to go away
For you 
But I'm here to stay but I'm here to stay 
For you
You don't understand what I'm going through
Just know that I did this all for you

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