Shit Me, It's Christmas! (feat. Still Stevens & Kid Kringle)

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Take out your Christmas wrapping and hope it won't be too long
Before I sneak in through your window to sing you a Christmas song
Rudolph is in your bedroom and Prancer's out on the lawn
Jesus is in your bathroom smoking a Christmas bong

Shit me, it's Christmas!
So put on a fancy suit
I sold all my kids for Christmas
To buy me some Christmas food
Quail's eggs by the dozen
Your least favourite reindeer's hoofs
Your grandpa's in the oven
An old guy's on your roof

Put on your longest trousers, roll up your trendy jeans
Santa's been in his workshop making toys by any means
Magic flying horses, his little elven slaves
He treats them very poorly and dances on their graves

Is that?
It can't be!
Can it?
Kid Kringle motherfuckers!

Pull my cracker, I'll pull yours
Decorations on the floors
Children screaming Santa Claus
(Santa! Santa!)
Daddy's watching Robot Wars
Freddy Kruger has his flaws
Mummy's drinking Worcester... aw that's really hard to say that

When will this terrible year end?

Shit me, a key change!
So put on a fancy suit
I sold all my kids for Christmas
To buy me some Christmas food
Quail's eggs by the dozen
Your least favourite reindeer's hoofs
Your grandpa's in the oven
An old guy's on your roof
It's Santa!

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