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Gee $uade

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The feeling that get when you be sitting all alone
The fact that you don’t have nobody here to call your own
Nobody’s knowing that I got no homies
But isn’t it real lovely to be lonely If only you could show me
How it feels to be loved I’m always growing
But I never had it so how am I suppose to show it
I’m just trynna focus for me as what’s the most important
That’s my kids of course so why do I feel like I am not the closest
I really miss you and I think about you everyday
And what we could’ve been if only you were here to stay
Your probably better off cause honestly the truth is
After everything I’ve done I should of wound up in a grave
Now you done picked me up and kicked me down at the same time
Always tryna go In circles like a roller coaster ride
But I don’t got the time to focus on another persons lies
I’d just rather pay the piper if I really am to die
You showed something that I’ve never even seen
And even though you mean the world to me you know I had to leave
Cause I don’t know what I am doing or which what that I am headed
Only thing is when I get there I just hope I don’t regret it
Our memories will not just simply fade away
I won’t the forget the day we met cause it is seared into my brain
And every second after that till I did not know what to say
You are the only one I want now all I really feel is shame
All the gifts we gave each other all the letters that we wrote
Late nights on the phone and then all the little notes
It was all for naught we just knew we didn’t wanna stop
Should of watched the clock cause a broken heart is what we got
But if we build it up I bet our pieces probably fit together
I don’t want to lose you cause I’ll never met someone that’s better
Often talk about the person that you know I wanna be
Though this song ain’t bout you girl you know its bout me
Every single day is a pain I don’t believe to pray
And that’s just me but really who am I to even say
See I’m oblivious to the world and the people around me
I am drowning in my thoughts and all my friends keep clowning cause
They don’t know the mess I’m in but it's either sink or swim
I’m fighting for my life and that much has always been evident
I don’t have the slightest clue on how I’m suppose to make a move
I’m trying to find myself but my soul is something that I would lose
If I continue on this path there’s no going back
I miss your smile and the way that I would make you laugh
Ima trynna stop myself cause I be feeling like I’m gonna crash
That’s the only way to go on fire covered in ash
I’ll admit that I’m in deep
I don’t want to close my eyes
Cause I’m afraid I could die in my sleep
Any second that is all it takes I don’t want wake
Gotta say I don’t really wanna live another day
But I will find the strength to be father that I never had
Every day that I’m alive I’ll take it as a second chance
I wanna feel the way I did before I knew I wasn’t sure
I had a lot of time to think about the person who you were
And bout the person that I am
I would tell you almost every single day about how much I want to be a better man
Be the best that I can be and even though I couldn’t see what lies in front of me
I’ll wait for you until I can’t breathe

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