Porn Star Tits

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Eliza McLamb

Eliza McLamb is an American indie rock musician from Carrboro, North Carolina. more »

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When I was 10 years old a man on the internet told me I had porn star tits
I didn't know what that meant but I knew he was getting off on it
So I wore a bikini top under my v-neck
Went to the mall to try on some makeup
Walked into GameStop looking for attention
But all I got was condescension

In 7th grade I figured out
That my porn start tits are pretty powerful
They make boys be nice to me
For a week

Then they trade that shit like Pokémon cards
Swapping my body with somebody else's that's metrically hotter than mine
How can I, a seven, compete with all these nines?

Well, I guess I could steal their boyfriends
Or I guess I could go to church
I either play the whore or Madonna
And I'm not sure which one's worse

Bought a pack of Marlboro reds
Cause I saw on Tumblr that's the pretty girl cigarette
Smoked one thinking it made me look cool
Then I threw it all up in the girls' bathroom at school

And on the weekends I show up to parties that I'm not invited to
Out of spite I have a good attitude
Dance all night 'til I end up in someone's room

I say "I like the way you talk to me"
He says "I like the way you look at me
Hey, by the way, if we sleep together, tomorrow I'll act like I don't remember"

And that's when it dawned on me that my porn star tits are pretty good currency
For mediocre sex and a feeling of total fucking emptiness
I mean, didn't I ask for it a little bit?
In some strange way I kinda like it
That voice in my head telling me "good girl, it's working isn't it"
Isn't it?

F*ck

If I have to feel so disembodied the body better be bangin'
It's gotta be the type to get me a few likes on Instagram and a DM that says
"Slut"

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