Dublin Bill

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Paul Carbuncle

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He says "Woman, turn that racket off"
So she puts down her tea
She shuffles across the living room
And she turns down the TV
He waits until she's settled back
Got comfy with a tray in her lap
Then he glances up
And as she lifts her cup
He says "That's not off, that's down
That's not off, that's down"

Shall we begin back in County Kildare, Dublin Bill?
Would it be fair to say you weren't a one for school?
All your bridges swiftly burnt
And your letters left unlearnt
Just a tearaway, but you could charm them all
Nobody's fool
Sooner use your wits than follow any rule

You took a girl for a romp in the hay, Dublin Bill
At the farm down the lane, in a shed
Found some guns in the straw
Told your dad what you saw
"Breathe one word of this and we'll all be dead"
Father said
"Here's a clip round the ear, now off to bed"

The next morning you're put on the boat, Dublin Bill
Bound for London to live with Auntie May
When you find out she ain't real
You don't know what to think or feel
Then two ladies of the night kindly say
"It's okay
If you want you are welcome to stay"

And they taught you to read and to write, Dublin Bill
Slowly taught you to write and to read
Then the press-gang hit town
Combed the streets all around
They said "Paddy boy, you're just the kind we need
Yes indeed
You'll be better off in khaki than in tweed"

It's the bomb disposal unit for you, Dublin Bill
Bomb disposal will suit your steely eye
Soon you're shaken to the core
Can't do the job no more
When you see your new best mate blown sky high
God, you cry
Jesus Christ that ain't no bleedin way to die

Well you're settled down in Ashford, so it seems, Dublin Bill
And showing fillums at The Flea Pit keeps you calm
You've wed your Chislet girl
Got one young Patrick, one young Pearl
But you're a tearaway so now your winning charm
(Or is it smarm?)
Don't belong at home but down the Denmark Arms

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer