The Suicide Note

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Klhio

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Suicide
I can't find no reason to stay alive
So tonight I think I might try
Suicide
Would the world be better if I just closed my eyes
Just shrivel up and die

Dear listener
Or to whomever should find this letter
I find myself at odds with a matter of circumstances that lead me to this endeavour
Cursed thoughts  continue to cloud my better sense of judgment
But what does that matter
Enclosed you'll find a sum of my final thoughts
I've never been good with words so I apologize if I'm a tad bit off
Don't take it the wrong way
I barely spoke my mind before
You probably didn't notice anyway
I'm always ignored
My name is
Was
It doesn't matter
You won't identify me when my body splatters the concrete
That's such a messy way to go
I'd try the wrist method but Somehow
I don't know
That feels a tad bit cliche
This isn't easy to say
But I'm doubtful this will ruin your day
Why should it
No one cares
I know it's true
Everyone just pretends that they like you
Why
Just to feel better about themselves
What a fucked up way to be
Walk around like you're so tortured
Yet you're the ones who tortured me
Punch me and shove me
Scream ugly bastard you disgust me
I've seen your social feed
You're begging can somebody love me
Wow
What a life to lead
That shouldn't surprise me
After all
We live in a society
Of people so concerned about what everyone else thinks of them
I guess I'm a hypocrite then
Cos even I pretend
Don't worry
I'm totally fine
Totally fine
Time after time
Memorize the lines
Lie after lie after lie after lie
God
How can you be so blind
Where's a safe place that I can hide
A simple human connection I'm constantly denied
People can't even look me in the eye
Turn your nose up at me tell me I need to go fuckin' die
So I guess that's why
I gotta try

Suicide
I can't find no reason to
Stay alive
So tonight I think I might try
Suicide
Would the world be better if I just closed my eyes
Just shrivel up and die
I gotta try

I often wondered if this situation could have been avoided
But my grip on reality is a bit disjointed
You might be thinking you didn't notice that something was amiss
Well here's a list of itemized things that could have been the catalyst
There's lying
Cheating
Anxiety too
Depression
Oh yeah
And sexual abuse
Did I mention I was a drinker
Sorry
I don't mean to get you down
I'm a bit of a stinker
I picked up that habit from my father
What a great guy
Did you know that he told me once that before I was alive his life was great
And now he just bottles up his hate
And unleashes a blind fury on what he calls a mistake
That's me by the way
Thanks a lot dad
I didn't ask to be born
I didn't ask for this life of scorn
Is my fault no rubber was worn
Is it my fault I'm a target for every
Dastardly bastard whose overreactions lead to a violent action
That constantly leaves me in traction
If you even understood a fraction of all the attacks on me
Is it so hard for assholes to just leave me be
Is it so hard for a woman to love me
That she fantasizes about other guys she would rather be with than me
What the f*ck is this tragedy
F*ck everyone
F*ck this pain and suffering
F*ck the world and all who reside in it
I've had enough of it
I won't be your fucking puppet
I'm cutting the strings
Your shackles kept me in bondage
Now let's see who got wings
Cos I'mma fly
So high that no one can touch me
I'll fly to a new world where no one will ever shun me
I can feel it
I can feel it drawing near
So close I can taste it
Sweet freedom I'm coming my dear
So when you think of me
I hope the thought haunts you
I hope the darkness and guilt swallows you up and consumes you
You caused this
You took away my hope
Yours sincerely
The Suicide Note

Suicide
I can't find no reason to
Stay alive
So tonight I think I might try
Suicide
Would the world be better if I just closed my eyes
Just shrivel up and die
Suicide
I can't find no reason to
Stay alive
So tonight I think I might try
Suicide
Would the world be better if I just closed my eyes
Just shrivel up and die
I gotta try

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