HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

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Second Heart

3:41

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I'm tired of running
I keep on telling myself that I can run forever
But to every race there's a finish line and death is waiting
Im running away from time and age, but funny thing is I keep on running toward them
Trying to dodge them like a bullet
Every birthday becoming a new age
Every day gaining more rage
I'm only 17
About to be 18
I'm trying to be a kid while I can STOP PRESSURING ME
Please I don't have much time
Seems like trying to take the time to be a kid is a now a crime
I'm sorry that my music is just a sad rhyme
But everyday is always a sad time
Sometimes I feel like a mime
Stuck in a box of anxiety and no one can see
Trying to get out is challenge to me
I wish everyone would stop watching
I'm just trying to get out HELP ME
Can't you see I'm not free!?

Stop yelling at me please I'm trying
No I'm not making excuses to not grow up it's just hard
Anxiety is holding me back and depression smacking me real hard
I understand I need to grow up
But I'm thinking that me forcing my mind to transition is hurting
But I get it
I'm almost an adult and I need to get it
Maybe I'm just a complainer
Nothing last forever
Especially when your a kid
I'm trying to get that through my head
But it's hard when it's laying on the bed
I can't tell if I'm lazy
Or if I'm really just having a rough time transitioning from a kid to an adult
I'm a ball of anxiety and broken homes
I trust nothing
Not even myself
It's getting sad
To the point I'm getting mad
I don't want it to be my birthday
But choice do I have

Happy birthday to me yay
Today is the day I sit and be happy all day!
I wish that was that was the case
I'm not trying to encourage people to hate birthdays
I'm just wanting to stay younger
Becoming an adult is a little scary for me
Trying to be honest with myself is getting hard
Telling my self one lie makes me feel less like a retard
I have people that tell me they give the best of regard
But believing them is just really hard
Being honest is becoming more and more difficult
Telling the truth is hurting people I care about
Facts don't care about your feelings
I still stick with that
But it's hard to do so when you hit the ones you love with the truth bat
The album I'm making is based on being truthful
Man I feel like I'm stuck in a hole
I'm trying not to focus my music on sad topics  anymore
But it's hard when that's how I started this

People keep screaming and laughing
Why do you wanna change my style?
Why do I have to be happier for you?
Do you know how it feels to turn to nothing but music?
Sometimes people make me sick
Don't wanna listen, fine don't be apart of it
Be happier
All I can do is try, you try carrying all this weight almost forever
Don't get me wrong I don't hate my birthday
Just being 18 is scary per-say
But you can do more!
More responsibilities is not what I need
Its hard to do anything with anxiety dragging me
In A box that no one can see
Full of things I do not wanna see
Full of things it tells me I will be
But in reality
It will never be me
I don't think you understand
I'm trying either way
But something I don't understand is
Why does everyone have to tell me
What I need to be if there not me
And do not deal with things i have too
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

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