Death of Superman

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Holizna

6:02

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Had this friend 6th grade back in private academy
Used get cuss words and dirty jokes out of me
We came up in the church but we broke all the rules
On all those porn sites we would visit after school
I cited it as the start of my addiction to porn
Even now it makes the dance of love hard to perform
Used to love his neighborhood cause mine was no good
Used to build forts out behind his house in the woods
Little hideouts from my life back on Churchview
Where neighbors smoked crack and I thought the world would hurt you
Mamma always said patience was a virtue
But I was ready to f*ck and for pussy to burn through
Used to talk about girls in the class
Especially the ones whose tits grew fast
Looking back it seems kinda strange
I thought that's how boys were meant to talk at that age
Thought he had a good life, much better than mine
They had money, cable, HBO and Showtime
But sometimes it would be late in the night
This kid would get real sad and he would talk about life
Said that he was depressed thought about slitting his wrists
Said he didn't even know if God could exist
And this was the first male that I'd ever seen cry
Made me think he might be gay at the time
What the f*ck did he ever have to cry about
With every new game console in that big ass house
One day we were playing smash on 64
When an older kid with a shovel pounded on the door
Said it was something we should probably ignore
Until he pounded so loud you could feel it through the floor
Then my man stepped out on his roof with a longbow
Drew it back with a real ass arrow
Told this kid he'd put it through his bone marrow
Dead serious eyes all narrowed
I was pretty scared so my memory's impaired
But in my head he put it through his leg right there
Can't remember what his folks told mine or what they said they'd do
I'm pretty sure both kids got 302'd
Was waiting for my mom up in his room
Had this feeling in my gut like the world was doomed
A black poster with a red S hung over his bed
White print in quotes read Superman's dead
It's faster than a speeding bullet
Can't look back
Stronger than a locomotive
Leaves a lip fat
Able to keep buildings in a single bound
While able to keep angel wings tethered to the ground
Look up in the sky
It's a bird it's a plane
It's life leaving superman's cape blood stained
My best friend coming up was an addict
We'd only ever kick it when he was kicking his habits
I was kinda straight edge, I wasn't about it
My girl's folks had habits that had left her skied clouded
My family lore stated we were alcoholics
So I stayed away from all that untill my friends went off to college
Picked him up from parties when he was off the wagon
Did everything I could to keep my man from chasing dragons
We were family and I was most happy
When I lived down in Shadewell with his Nunny and his Pappy
Our passion was music and we made a couple albums
Probably wouldn't do what I do today without him
We were chasing life and we had it by the horns
Played a couple gigs I'll probably never outperform
I was running from bad nights when mom and dad would fight
He was running from a future on the streets with a pipe
Felt like we were running shit and everything felt right
Like our traumas couldn't ever resurface for a fight
But life had me fucked up and before I knew it
I was the addict, I was the one that blew it
I recall a time when our habits overlapped
He was off his rocker on a bender talking facts
That he was Jesus Christ and that he'd come back
For all of his apostles to take them to a land that
Flowed with milk and honey for all who follow God's tracks
Had to tell him that it all sounded wack
We should call his Aunt we should dial this all back
I joked that he was racist 'cause Jesus is black
He said after all those years we made music
Thought you were my brother James, but you were just my Judas
His Aunt was worried that he might be schizophrenic
I felt shame over how our friendship ended
Life's a lot shame that you gotta deal with
Life's a lot of pain that would push you to your limits
In a lot of ways he didn't sound so crazy
Kind of been wishing I was Jesus Christ lately
We all want the power to keep fam out the red
But everybody's beat since
Superman's dead
It's faster than a speeding bullet
Can't look back
Stronger than a locomotive
Leaves a lip fat
Able to leap buildings in a single bound
While able to keep angel wings tethered to the ground
Look up in the sky
It's a bird, it's a plane
It's life leaving Superman's cape blood stained
Both of these kids ended up good
One works with schizophrenics the other impoverished neighborhoods
So I wonder how I ended where I'm at
A marriage in the can with dreams that never come back
Still wonder who the f*ck I can blame
I'm still stuck with the fear and the shame
Still got those beer muscles when I drink
Still tussle with the thought that I could change everything
Still rustle through the closet for that old red cape
Want to sacrifice myself for everybody's sake
But every time I ever want to give I only take
And that's because I've always been the one who needs saved
Until then I'm really no good to anyone
Until then I'm only as good as a loaded gun
In a toddler's hand thinking that it'd probably be fun
To let off a couple rounds in the yellow sun
It's high time I spit out what I was fed
About being a man who saw through anything but led
Gotta quit fighting the world
Fight my demons instead
Gotta save myself 'cause
Superman's dead
It's faster than a speeding bullet
Can't look back
Stronger than a locomotive
Leaves a lip fat
Able to leap buildings in a single bound
While able to keep angel wings tethered to the ground
Look up in the sky
It's a bird, it's a plane
It's life leaving superman's cape blood stained

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